EP:68 "Early worm get catches by the bird” (Dating Spirit Mediums) Feat: Austin804

Song Of The Show
Million Miles by Graf Byrd

First off: Olanski makes his case for suing The Make A Wish Foundation.
DUMB LAWS ALASKA

NPOren
Utah offers porn class students will watch porn together..
Growing weed In space
 std allergy? Now she can’t have peanuts?
Harvard has ties to salvery pledges 100million
House votes to legalize weed waiting on Senate 
Baby born with two penises has bigger one cut off.. doc said bc it didn’t work
Passover Easter Ramadan all fell on the same weekend. 
Elon musk buys twitter. Question
Since last episode when we talked about FL passing the “don’t say gay bill” 
Florida now cuts deal with Disney bc of don’t say gay bill.
 Disney no longer a municipality.
Florida bans 50 math books due to CTR and sensitivity reasons.
Tragic milestone. Children’s #1 cause of death in US is gun related 
Gun-related deaths rose 29% among 1- to 19-year-olds from 2019 to 2020,
Mask mandates lifted by TSA
Isreali And hamas are at it again 
Ukrainian still under siege 

This Week On
That’s A No For Me Dawg:
Would you date someone who can talk to ghost?
If you played in a big sports league would you rather take the big contract and always lose, Or take a smaller one to win?
If your girl has a birthday dinner should you, her man cover the entire tab?
If a person you don’t like (mean coworker) invites everyone out for their birthday, are you going?
Who masturbates more, women or men?
If you and your women get held up at gunpoint and she runs off. How would you feel?Would you let your 14 year old daughter kiss her bf in pics on social media?
Do you have to talk you you lover everyday?
Would you piss of mike Tyson for a dare?
Should a man let his woman accept gifts from another man if he can’t afford them?
How many days a week should the parent have the child to get child support? Black Chyna..
Who would be the toughest person to beat if there were a present day Def jam vendetta?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Okay, you dirtbags! I lost him, last time I saw him I was over here He said that like I said, I keep popping purple pills Thank you for watching! We'll do what it is. As always, it's your boy Olanski. Three I's on motherfucking Instagram. Two I's on paper. One I on motherfucking... Oh, one I on motherfucking paper. I fucked that all up. You did. Can't spell your own name. That's why I fucked up, man. I got so many personalities in this motherfucker, man. Okay, let's run that back. It's your boy Olanski, motherfucker. Three I's on Instagram, a.k.a. Dijon Pijon, a.k.a. LL Cool J, a.k.a. My government is Ben Truitt, and now you know me as Armani Tsunami, baby. Let's go. We'll be adding names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bet you it'll be a 20-minute intro. Yo, y'all already know, man. It's FlavsP. FlavsB36 on Instagram. You funky dog. Hey, bitch, you. A.K.A. Mr. That's a no from me, dog. You know it. And Drew Lucky on Instagram, Warren. Same shit. No intro. Damn, I need a name now. Austin804 underscore. Shout out to my dog, Austin804 underscore, man. Yeah. Yeah, he came through on the show, man. Yeah. Is it an actual underscore? Yeah. No, that's Austin804. This is a guy that doesn't even have an active Instagram. That's got the regular Austin804. So I'm just waiting for him to just get that shit up. That's how it is, man. Somebody got the name on there. I got to hit him up. I'll give you 50 bucks, man. But your hair, he's like, do you got underscore spelled underscore? Nah, just the... Just the physical underscore. Just the junk right there. That'd be hard if he spelled it underscore. What if it's an underscore and then the word underscore? That'll be hard. You know what? I might have to grab that joint. It's going to be underscore, underscore. Underscore. Like LaDasha? It'll be a sports page. Yeah, it'll be a sports page. There you go. Yo, that's the new pie right there. Underscore. Yeah. From Dirtbag Industries. You heard it. Every Tuesday morning. If this pops up anywhere else, it'll start up on the High Class Dirtbags podcast, so that's proprietary. Yeah, hang on, hang on. We got a watermark here. This is 2-11 on 4-30. So anybody after that, we coming for you. Yeah, man. Frax. Yeah. As always, this is the Hot Class Dirtbags podcast, man. Thank you for listening, liking, sharing, doing whatever the fuck you is, doing, hating, whispering, whatever it is, man. We still appreciate it. I appreciate it a lot. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, they on Twitter now, too, man. I know, man. The haters is on Twitter. I don't know. They might be leaving Twitter. I don't know. I don't know, man. They said Elon, but. We'll get to that. Don't worry. Okay. Just shit. Just to have black Twitter so we'll see. Yep. So, yeah, man. It's going good, man. Another week in high-class dirtbag land, you know what I'm saying, a.k.a. Atlanta, Georgia. We have a first-timer with us, Austin. Yeah, man. First-time hit, man. We appreciate you stopping by. Long time listening. First time on the show. Appreciate it. So, how you been, my brother? Bro, it's been good. Dude, I'm, like, changing everything in life at the same time. So, it's a very good learning time, learning season. Plenty to see us grow next year. Nice. We'll try to take over the country, bro. Yeah, aren't you with a brewery now, my dog? Yeah, my family got a brewery up north, just outside of Philly, Westchester area. Just like y'all niggas always trying to escape the south and go north. Hey, hey. Hey, man. Man, it's actually weird up there, dude. I'm like, dude, everywhere I go, I'm like, I'm probably the first black person they seen all week. In Philadelphia? Nah, nah. No, no, no. You got Philly. You know how people be like, you know, there's Atlanta, then there's Georgia, there's Philly, and then there's the rest of Pennsylvania. That joint. If you'd have said Pennsylvania, I knew exactly what you was talking about. You said Philly. I was like, they in the north part of Philly? That's where Beanie Siegel from. Freeway up there. Does that mean Beanie Siegel's not? No, no, legit. I mean, there's a little borough. It's not even a city. It's a little borough. It's like four niggas in that joint. Damn. Two of them on my block. So I'm like, We got to look out for each other. Yeah, for real. For real. That's hilarious, though. Yeah. It's only four of us. So you said it started up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pennsylvania. Yeah, so we doing that. We're going east and south at the same time. Shoot, that was my phone. My bad. Yeah. That was my time. You don't like your phone, man? What'd that phone do to you? Hey, man, nah, man. Shit happens, man. Shit happens, man. That drink committed suicide. I'm out this bitch. So it's a family business? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we started in Philly. Well, I should say, I say Philly to simplify it. It's not out here. outside of Philly. Now we got a distribution plant in China. We're on the new Silk Road is what everybody's calling it. We got a distribution facility out there in the plant. We're trying to go to Georgia too, man. Pennsylvania, Virginia, D.C. A couple places in China. We're trying to get Georgia popping. There's a lot of places out here that you would still be the only black person. We're already there. We got a production facility in China. That's hard. So, I mean, you can own the product or you can own the road. You're trying to do both. Damn right. Yeah. So, what are y'all just doing? You can't own people, though. Nah, I'm in China. You can still. The views of Austin underscore. You know what I'm saying? You ain't canceled yet? You're like, yo, he's over there niggas on the usually like at least 30 minutes in that might be a new record for your podcast so what's some of the products y'all have oh man we got we got a Mexican lager it's called Escalante that's just actually one second Mexican lager in the world rated by Frankfurt over in Germany and we have our main flagship is Cloudy and Cumbersome which is a Cloudy IPA that just won first place in the world for a Cloudy IPA for a hazy IPA. I'm sorry. And then we got another joint called Tickle Parts that just won second place. Tickle Parts? Yeah. We got really funny names. We got Drachenstock, Tickle Parts, Tiny Tickle. It's funny. The crack brewery scene is like, they really take pride in their artwork and their names. Pickle Beer. That's hard. Pickle Beer would be kind of nice. Kind of cool. That's why. We're trying to do what we can. One of the official beers of the Philadelphia Phillies. Oh, wow. Yeah, we just inked that last year. We got another season. Philadelphia Phillies, bro? Yeah. That's big. So they have a very short list of beers that you can buy at the stadium. And it's kind of a big deal to get on that list. So snagging that was a huge win. Hell yeah. So is there a lot of other black distilleries where you're at? Or breweries? No, there's one. That's it. There's one. There's a couple here that popped up in Atlanta recently. I was like, oh, shit, that's pretty dope, man. They've been like, man, we've been here for years. I was like, oh, shit, my bad. I mean, Atlanta got some good product, though. It's all about the water, first of all. So the water profile here is conducive for IPAs, first of all. Not everybody respects the chemistry of the water. So if you make beer, you need to be a water production facility. That's your number one problem, is the water. You know what I mean? Okay. So if you respect that chemistry, it's not for respect. What about the barley and all that? and all that stuff. That's cool. That's very trendy though. So like right now, everybody's using the Simcoe. Everybody's fighting over Simcoe. Which Simcoe? Simcoe is, well, right now, Simcoe is kind of questionable because there's a lot of shortages going around. But Simcoe is a certain strain that has been made famous by a certain distribution company that, you know how like, okay, so if you were to grow marijuana, you do a graft and you do a hybrid strain. And Oren says, this is my shit. And you go around saying, This is my shit. And nobody pays attention to you until like 10 years later. Then all of a sudden everyone's trying to use orange shit and you got to fight over this stuff that you weren't expecting a windfall of business. So you're like, all right, cool. I only have so much. It's just like wine. You know, when wine pops, it pops and no one really can tell when a wine is going to pop. So Senko is a kind of barley. Exactly. So, but it's, it's, it's something that you can't just go and grab. So knowing what's going to be popular five, 10 years in advance is really, really the issue. So because if you if you try to just chase the fat, your stuff is going to be so expensive because you're going to be bought out. You're going to be boxed out in the market when it comes to what's available. So it's like just trying to ride the wave doesn't work. So the reason that we pop is because we kind of made the hazy IPA popular. So now everybody's trying to catch on. We already got it. So, yeah, y'all can catch up. It's going to cost a little bit of bread, a lot of bread. And that and we we make our own yeast. We have a special yeast called GY7B, which doesn't exist in nature except for one place in the world. So that's exist in nature. Except for one place in the world. Only one place. No, the funny thing is it's called GY7B because it's discovered in a graveyard, section Y, subsection B. So we're literally drinking dead people beers. Great. I haven't wanted something until this point. That's literally the origin. If there was a superhero that came out of this business, it would be GY7B man. A random ass yeast that was discovered in a graveyard like 10 years ago. Damn. That's not kosher. No, that's definitely not kosher. So what, you got to find it off of dead people? No, that's where it was originally found. Like dead people's yeast? After the body's been dead for anywhere from 24 to 36 months. The funny thing about cemeteries is Cemeteries are weird because it's a untouched piece of property within a city. You know what I mean? Like if you want to go to a nature preserve, okay, cool. You understand what you're going to get. It's an untouched piece of property. No one really goes in and out of a graveyard like talking about. So some weird things kind of happen where you have high populations of birds, bees, insects, funguses, all those different things because there's so much around the area that's kind of your sanctuary. where weird things happen. And one of those weird things was a certain kind of yeast that kind of just... I was going to say, yeah, ghost. Where's the yeast at? Where's the yeast at? Where do you find it? Like in a grass patch somewhere? On a tree. Outside of Philly. In a graveyard just inside the city limits of Philly. Oh, so this is locally produced. Dead yeast. Locally discovered. Dead man yeast. Dead man yeast. That's got to be a product right there. That might be a group. We'll name that after Philly. Dead man yeast. Once again, you heard it here first on the High Class Dirtbag Spotlight. Got you, bitch. You know what I'm saying? That's hard, though. That motherfucker's making dead man yeast out of this motherfucker, man. So where can we go pick up some beers? It should be your address. I got you. All right. Yeah, we don't have a license in Georgia yet. Okay, okay. It'll be free 99. Okay, no, for sure. I just want to let the viewers know. LevanteBruin.com. LevanteBruin.com. Wait, so you can... Hit it, right? Yeah. You can make a product and sell it in Pennsylvania, but to come in Georgia, you need... A Georgia-specific license. Right now, we're in Pennsylvania, Virginia. That's fucking so mafioso to me. And the thing is, a license can be a million bucks, dude. Literally. The government is the mafia. Literally. Yeah, they are. It's just more organized. Yeah. They just got their shit together. Pay me. Thanks. Legitimately. Like, you can't come off a license for less than 100K. Anywhere. Period. Period. have this imaginary line. If you want to sell over there, you got to pay more to sell over here. That's crazy, though. How is that not fucking Tony Corleone? It is. It should have always been like this, too. You break all the glass and then you own a window factory. Tony Soprano and Michael Corleone mix. That's a Tony Corleone. They should call you Curly-on. Curly-on. Curly-on. My name, my name, Oren, a.k.a. Curly on. Curly Long. Curly Long. Curly Long. He's curly. That's dope, though. I want to try something. We're going to have to try that on our podcast. I'm going to bless y'all, man. Bless us, because obviously we'll... It's a free commercial for us, bro. For you. You know what I'm saying? You got to support black-owned businesses, man. You know what I'm saying? Black-owned everything, baby. That's what we do around here at the High Class Dirtbags Podcast man shout out to my dog once again man I'm gonna give him one of them good organic you know what I'm saying like nah for real man please please let us know what's up with that goddamn beer cause I would love to get sloshed off that motherfucker that's all I be doing on Saturday sitting on the porch you gonna die and wake back up yeah yeah yeah dead man yeast it's that dead man yeast girl slow down now they made that with dead man yeast girl you so drunk you wake up in a grave y'all You just need an old man with his conspiracy theory. You know where that come from, right? That's that dead man yeast. Dead man yeast, man. And he said he made it with dead man yeast. Drink two cans and you'll be walking like this. Why don't you call that the beer? That actually sounds like a good idea. That's what I'm saying. Trent just coined that joint. Dead man yeast. We have a joint called Graveyard Games, but we don't have a dead man yeast. Yeah, you need to get that dead man yeast, man. I think we need Trent on there, too. Hey, man. And if y'all do, man, I just want 15% of the money going to the High Class Dirtbags podcast. We need like a skeletonized trip with the dress, you know what I'm saying? That'd be hard. Let's give him 2%. Give him 2%, though. Nah, you need the percentage and the ABV to be the same, you know what I'm saying? That's got to be like a 5-point or something. Y'all get sloshed from that joint. Nah, sure. Hey, man, for real, though. Hey, the High Class Dirtbags podcast. You see that, man? Shit, man, just sloshed. What did you do with this motherfucker, man? Got all kinds of motherfuckers in this world coming through, man. Motherfucker making beer, man. A nigga making beer. Nah, for real. A nigga making beer. Nah, for real. Gotcha, bitch. Wait, wait, wait. Is that beer made by niggas or a nigga making beer? It's the beer you drink. It's the beer you drink for making niggas. Nah, that's the shit Trump been drinking for years. Hey, man. You know what it is, man. You know how we do. How's everybody else been doing? How y'all motherfuckers been doing, man? Y'all ugly ass motherfuckers? I'm standing, man. Staying ugly? I'm standing. She's out there working, staying ugly. Damn, me too, y'all. Life is life. I wasn't going to say that, but... I want to be as content as Oren is. He's like, you know, just living life, staying ugly. One day at a time, bro. That's that confidence. That's that struggle. That's that confidence, bro. Hey, stay ugly, my friend. He's talking to me. Don't group me in that shit, my friend. What? I was going to say, I was staying handsome all the way through. No, man. Staying handsome and chose. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to say your other half back. Other half back. Hey, man. The ladies disagree, brother. That's all I'll say. Hey, man. Hey, that's all that matters at the end of the day, my brother. You know what I'm saying? I've been good, too, man. I'm chilling. It's that time of the year. It's draft season where lucky motherfuckers go for all around the world. And, you know. And NBA playoffs. Yeah, dog. NBA playoffs. But motherfuckers all around the world, though, come and get drafted, get picked. And one of the first picks This year, like, I think it was the fourth or fifth pick of the NFL draft this year. They had a dude. He survived a heart surgery, right? No, he survived a heart surgery and announced the pick, right? It was a Make-A-Wish kid. Oh, yeah, okay. And it got me thinking that I think I found my calling. I'm about to sue Make-A-Wish Foundation, though. Oh, you're about to get that bread. Because it's not inclusion. Like, I felt excluded. Like, now I understand what people talk about when they don't feel included. You're going to have to explain yourself on this one. I am. I now understand why people fight for equality and inclusion in every I always understood but now I definitely understood because I never felt excluded from something like watching that boy on that stage announcing his favorite team's first pick in the draft I was like damn I gotta be on the verge of death to do that that's not fair that's not how is that That's not fair. Then tell me, how is that fucking fair? That is not, that is not fucking fair, bro. Wait, so what would be better? Like, if he was dead, like, should they get a kid that didn't survive and, like, read that shit? Before you, can I just want to say, the views of Trill are... They're not the views of... You may continue. But, like, okay, so what if old boy didn't survive? Like, we just, like, have a dying wish that old... He's alive and well. Yeah, but, like, if you want to include it, like... I probably had that dying wish, you know, like, yeah, kid, whatever, thinking that. And then they're like, surprise. And the kids survived, and I was like, they got to pay up. You said, this is the date. I was like, I made it past this date. Gotcha, bitch. Fly me out. You thought I wasn't. You know, the producers are like, fuck, we got to deal with this kid. First round? Does he even speak English? They're picking fifth overall. Nah, we need to make a wish draft. We need to pick the people that's on. It was the Giants, though, man. I was pissed off because my Panthers picked right after they had the sixth pick. I was like, damn, dog. I want to announce their pick. Why the fuck I got to be dying to do that? That's kind of fucked up, dog. They got to be like, yo, you ain't going to make it past something, something 2022. You got something going on. That is something to be ableist there. No, no, hold on. That's not fair. How fucked up is that to be like, yo, I'm telling you right now, you will not make it past October 8th, 2022. 2022. That is the... How can I... All right. You go to the NFL. Hey, can I please do the draft? Can I please pick the draft? Pick, announce it. Oh, no, no, no. You have to be on your deathbed dying from this shit. I just want to further elaborate a little bit more. Heart surgery. How old was this child? I mean, he looked like 16, 17. 16, 17. He looked like a damn near grown man. Damn near 18. But if he was... Would you trade? Do you want to trade shoes with him? You saying that? No, I'm not saying that. I want to announce the pick, yeah. Yeah, I trade those shoes, the shoes he wore, to fucking announce the pick, yeah. No, I'm not. Like, I don't want to trade shoes with him, like, life-wise. No, that's fucking crazy. But that's what I'm saying. That's how fucked up it is. I got to be dying for y'all niggas to be like, you know what? You can call them boy pick. That's fucked up, man. No, because they had other people. I can't say it. Because they had other people. First round? I don't know if it was first round. But, but. I'm okay with this. I mean, that's the highlight of that kid's life. I'm suing him. I'm suing him. What if he actually made the pick, though? Like, he announced it, but what if he actually made the pick? That's what's going to be my Make-A-Wish, dog. I want you to draft, too. I'll be kind of recording. You know what it is? I'll tell you what it is. Fuck that. It's fucked up. They got Make-A-Wish kids. They don't got Make-A-Wish adults. Why y'all ain't got grown motherfuckers? Again, you just viewed it. What? I tried to stay silent on this. I see where you're going though. I see where he's going. That is definitely ableist. I'm not going with him. Everything is equality, right? If everything is equality, you're like children. Again, you're forgetting that these are children. You can't equate yourself as an adult with children. It's the same reason why it's a movie discount. Children are adults. Sick people are sick people, man. I mean, you do have a Sick people are sick. You ain't sick, nigga. Definitely sick. Definitely sick. If you was sick, I would have been like, all right, yeah, they could have called you, bro. Definitely sick is definitely sick, dog. Definitely sick is definitely sick. Everybody going to die. We all got the same sickness. But that's what I'm saying. Dog, you know how much an old motherfucker would cherish that shit? Be like, yo, man, I'm going to tell you, man, you're 83, dog. You ain't going to make it next year. You ain't 83. But what I'm saying, though, if they don't even have that for the mother, Yes, they do. They had them old, motherfucker. Yeah, the vets. That's it. You gotta make a wish. You can't make a wish. Nigga gotta go through Viet Cong and shit and then you come back just to make a wish. You can't have lived a good life and be like, damn, I'm about to leave this motherfucker and be like, what's your last wish? Be like, shit, I just want to announce the pick. Nigga, no, nigga, shut the fuck up. And here's the thing, even if you are a vet, you don't get to make the pick. You just get to stand in Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was watching it. They had all types. That little ass kid ain't been to war. Yeah, the third or the fourth round. Hell yeah. That's second round. They had different people coming on them, you know, announcing the pick. But all right, say he went to war. All right, it was a vet. He might have had that wish before he went to war. He might not make it back. He made it back like, oh, I did my wish. You know what? Here's another thing we're thinking of. I'm sure there was more than one kid who probably wished for this. And only one guy. What if they had backups? Like, what if this kid wished for this? Hey, bro. Hey, bro. I ain't going to hell with y'all boys.

UNKNOWN: 24:09

I'm not.

SPEAKER_00: 24:09

I ain't worried about getting canceled.

UNKNOWN: 24:12

This is about going to hell with y'all.

SPEAKER_00: 24:13

We passed cancel. We started that cancel. I'm pretty sure that's where y'all started. That motherfucker was on the verge. He was like... Hey! Let's go. I hate him. I hate him. Tell a friend. So y'all not with me on that. Fuck y'all. I'm with you on the eight. That's enough for me, dog. I'm looking for it, bro. That's enough for me, dog. That's enough for me, dog. Equality is equality. If we're going to have it all around, we got to have it all around. I'm with you. That's all I'm saying. So you're saying children should get jobs and all that shit? Hell yeah. Fuck them kids. Why not? I had a job when I was eight. Fuck. Fuck.

UNKNOWN: 25:04

Fuck.

SPEAKER_00: 25:04

Hey, you underestimate how well them little fingers can work. You know what I mean? Especially when they get focused on it. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? He was just talking about a child. I didn't even know the title of this episode. You know what I'm saying? Hey, you can clean somebody's rims or something. Oh, yeah. I'm saying y'all call it child labor. That shit illegal. They already tie your height. You know what I'm saying? Growing up in the country, every time somebody came to the crib, they'd be like, you want$20? Clean my car. Yeah, exactly. Well, you know what? I done cleaned everybody's car on a Saturday, dog. Hell yeah. See, they ain't them country niggas. You got two, three hundred dollars. We grew up, man. Shit. They're all them boys, man. Shit. We used to go pick tobacco and all that shit, nigga. For real. Nah, nah. We did that, too. We grew watermelons. Fuck y'all. Like, I was a real nigga. I don't think that qualifies country anymore. Y'all got tobacco and watermelon. Yeah, we had to do it. I'm going to pretend that qualifies for this conversation. Now this shit sound fucked up, but summertime time dudes would ride through on the truck. We out there playing. He's like, yo, shit. Y'all want to make some money? Nigga go pick tobacco all day. This nigga probably give you like$20. I was just having a conversation. That ain't enough. That man knows that children are perfect height to pick tobacco. That shit be on the ground. You can't be bending over at the waist, throwing your back out. Country nigga shit. There you go. That's that country shit, man. I'm telling you, man. My great uncle died because his pig got out on the highway, he got out to chase it, didn't put his car in park, and his car ran over him. Backed up on him. Damn. See, if there would have been a kid, it wouldn't have happened. And the pig lived. The pig got away. It was crazy, dog. I mean, it's not nothing to laugh at, but that's what happened to country motherfuckers, dog. That only happened in the country, dog. I just want to say, fuck that pig. That pig did get away too, man. I think he lived another two or three years. That would be beyond belief. You'd be like, damn, do you really believe this story? He was like 89, though. He was like, nigga, like, shit. That's what I was thinking. He shouldn't have been driving anymore. The car wasn't backing up fast. That should tell you something. There's a difference between a country old man. Like, you 89, still working. That man was still driving. That's how my grandpa was. You know what I mean? He had a hog pen, like a pen pen. People soft nowadays. You get 70, you clock out. Nah, them niggas going in. That's fucking, that's fucked up now. Where's your show at? All right. What are we starting off with? We're going to start. We're going to go. I don't know, man. What are we doing? Let's go to NPR. No, man. We ain't doing no NPR. It's too early in the day for that. I think we should start with that. I think we should start. We're going too woke for sleep. You can start with that as well.

UNKNOWN: 27:57

We'll be right back.

SPEAKER_00: 28:08

It's too woke for sleep. Well, I kind of already started it off. I wanted to make a wish. Y'all told me I don't have a case, so I guess. Fuck y'all. I thought we was in solidarity. I thought we was free. No, we are not. We are making it official. We are not in solidarity. Nope. All right. On this week. What is legally known. This week on Too Woke for Sleep, man. They removing the dick vein from the Snickers, man. I thought that was fake. Is that real? Hey, man. It's apparent. Apparently happening, though. Hey, man. Shortages is out here, bro. They got to take the dick vein out. It's a shortage somewhere. They got to take the vein out, bro. Nah, people just be offended by everything. Nah, nah, nah, you know. You got to be smooth. That community probably like, no, this look like I'm eating a dick. You know, they should just have a vanilla one and lead a dick vein in there. A glizzy junior. Yeah. A vanilla one with a green vein? I bet you like the leader. I don't know, bro.

UNKNOWN: 29:07

I don't know, bro.

SPEAKER_00: 29:08

Ain't nobody eating Snickers before. That's the case. They get the green and the blue one. What you want, the green or the blue? I see where you're going. Snickers, the blue balls, virgin, get the purple drink. I do think it's funny, man. I'm kind of offended because what if the person who made Snickers did that on purpose? Like every time Spike eat a Snickers, it's like they eating a dick. So this is old motherfucker. No, that was the nigga that didn't get their money because they made the Snickers. They're like, you know what? I'm going to get these motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying? You're a dick. Yeah, you're a dick. I bet you the leader of this anti-Dick Van Man is probably some white lady from the 70s. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. No, it's a white man. It's a white man whose wife went with a black man and was like, you know what? I want no black dick representation. That's the guy who hates you. That's the guy who hates you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was Dickers. It started with the Snickers. It was the Dickers, bro. I know where she got that jungle from. No, I heard also, I think that's a fake story. What? Is it real? Yeah, I think it was just something that that just went with it. But where did that smooth one? I seen the picture of the smooth joint. I did too. Somebody photoshopped that shit. I don't believe shit. On my next too woke for sleep thing I had, I recently got into golf and I went on a golf course, dog. And every time I had a question, anybody that I turned to on the golf course was like, oh yeah, man, I'll help you out. One dude let me, you know what I'm saying, look at his clubs and shit. He was like, yeah, this is that type of driver. I was like, I bet everybody was just super knowledgeable, dog. But then the next day, dog, we went to the basketball court and my homeboy tried to ask some questions, dog, and that shit was not as receptive as the golf course, dog. Why is that, dog? Why is the golf course not more... You would think, especially me as a black man, I would think going to a golf course, my first time being there, motherfuckers would be like, oh, nah, nigga, what are you doing here, nigga? You know what I'm saying? But it was more like, nah, man, come on. Little black boy, you want to learn golf? Come on. You never seen the blind side? That's my question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is right there. Were the golfers white and the basketball players white at the thing? Exactly. I mean, this is a big, you know. It was niggas. I was just saying. On the basketball course and the... The golf course is just way friendlier than the basketball course. Without a... Court. Yeah, because motherfuckers just walking around doing fucking nothing, swinging. Wearing khakis and shit. And they probably saw you like, oh, look at this sorry-ass nigga, man. come out. No, you're not playing with us. You're not playing. You look like you're trash. That's how basketball courts are. No, I ain't picking him. And then you ask some questions, man. You can't play ball. You come out there asking questions. You're not a hooper. I don't want you to play with me. Hey, but that's what I'm saying. Too woke for sleep. Niggas is not nice on the basketball court. I think that's just like you said, because if I was out there golfing and you came up with a Charles Barkley swing, I might be and then get the fuck out of here. Get out of here. But that's also the thing, is you're not playing golf with people. You know what I mean? Like, you're asking, you're in your, like, two-some, three-some, four-some, whatever, and you go play. So there is that aspect of it. And also, it's a golf course. And it's chill. People are nicer. It's chill. They have, like, no problems. And money will give you a whole bunch of confidence. I mean, if you got five hours out of your fucking day on a Tuesday to play golf, like, what the fuck? Obviously, you've got no problems to deal with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was Tuesday. Yeah. So the question is, where was you? It was Tuesday. It was Tuesday. Wait, wait. What day was the basketball court? What time? Wednesday. Like, same time? Yeah, yeah. You got a bunch of unemployed motherfuckers pissed off. Yeah. They didn't make it into me. They didn't make it into me. You're assuming. No, I'm assuming. You said they were both black. You said they were both black. So how was one? No, I mean, golf course was white dudes and black dudes. Oh, I didn't know. I thought you were engaging with black people. Majority white dudes, though, at the golf course. Oh, well, that's awesome. Why? I mean, they They might just be looking for a way to pay back to the community. You ever see that family guy where Cleveland goes to play golf? They're just all like, ooh, a black guy. Yeah. They trying to get rid of that guilt. Could have been that. Man, I don't know, man. We're inclusive. Yeah. Hey, buddy. I can't be a racist. I helped a nigger out on the golf course. I can't be a racist. I thought, nah, man. I don't think it was that, man. I don't think it's that deep, but a little bit of that complex. No, because there was a couple of them dudes that were I was like, yo, oh shit, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? I could tell they was listening to Wu-Tang in their headphones. Fuck y'all. I ain't going to say all of them motherfuckers. You know what I'm saying? Not everybody. Every white person is racist, man. But what would you be that way if a white boy was doing something that's stereotypically black? Would you just be reaching out and be like, hey, let me show you how to get down? Oh, that's a good question. You know what I mean? Like what? That's a good question. I don't mean shit. Selling yams? No. I see you right here at 7 a.m. I see you doing double ups. You listen to me because you're right. I see you doing it all wrong. So you got the pot too hot. You know what I'm saying? But also, I mean, back to what he said, like the golf course is not as a competitive place as basketball court. Basketball court is a competitive. Yeah. Like in golf, your opponent is the course. Now, I don't golf, so I mean, I'm assuming this, but like your opponent is the course. You're playing for yourself. Right? And obviously there's a leaderboard if it's a tournament or something. But basketball, it's a little bit more intimate. It's one-on-one. There's some egos going back and forth. Yeah, niggas be D'ing up and shit. Like, oh, wow. That's too close for me, though. Like, nobody sweats playing golf. Yeah, I know you do. I be intense on the court. I hate losing, so I hate losing. You come out here, you come out here, you come out here, you come out here, you come out here, you come out here, you come out here, you come out here, you come out here, Wookiee boogie. You're a monkey ass, man. All right, what else we had on? All right, Dick Vane wasn't true. Fuck y'all. Y'all don't want to sue. Make a wish. Fuck y'all. Let me see. Golf course. What about work as you, bro? You know what I'm saying? Nope. Shit. Oh, I did see a meme this week that was hilarious, so I got to say it here on the High Class Dirtbags podcast because it was a part of my growing up. Consensually putting an Expelling her booty hole was a wild error. I think they're still doing it, aren't they? I think they still are doing it. I just think you're not doing it anymore. That's a real thing? Yeah, bro, you didn't live. What's the shit? The vodka and the tampon? I heard that shit. That's old, right? That was like a stupid high school or something. You get super drunk off of that shit. I don't know. I don't have a vagina. I don't use tampons. I mean, you can just... Walk around with a tampon on his ass. What the fuck? That was me sucking on a fucking... Oh, no! Oh, bro. No, that was a time period. Oh, God. No, that's just a terrible image. It definitely was a time period. Nah, that was a wild era, man. Shout out to my childhood, man. I remember vividly. Nah, you know what the shit we did? We put a tampon in some Gatorade and threw that shit at people. What the fuck? What was y'all doing? What was y'all doing? doing this? That was the country shit we did. Y'all was picking tobacco. We was throwing 10 songs. All right. And lastly, but not least, the tight end for your team, right? San Francisco 49ers. You got that right. You see it. George Kittle came out with this riddle. And so I call it Kittle Me This. If the early bird catches the worm, then how do good things come to those who wait? I don't know. That's George Kittle, brother. You just got to believe whatever that was. I'm just saying It's true. It was a good question, though. It was. No, when I seen that, it was like that. It was a good question. It was a good question, though. It was a little too woke. Hold on. I'll give you an example. The early bird is, let's go back in the day when you used to have to buy your concert tickets in line. Okay. The motherfucker who shows up three days in advance, camps the tent, you know, pops the tent, that's the early bird in a sense. Obviously, he's waiting three days. He gets the, you know, choice. I guess in this sense but but then the guy the guy who waits the last minute just goes to the stadium and gets one from the scalper good thing it's coming to those who wait but he was able to work for three days when the other guy wasn't so he got more money in the bank but here's my thing about the early bird catches the worm thing we're only thinking of the bird the second worm stays alive true Like, think about it. The early worm is dead. I think we got to take a hit. The early worm lives. They don't say the early worm. They say the early bird. But I'm saying, like, you only think about the bird in this situation. So what's the other side of it? The worm side. The worm side is just, you know, in accordance with what God was trying to say. What if the other worms gassed up the first one? It's like, yo. Just don't even. Don't even. One thing at a time. You talking about the bird. You got to get up early. Yo, why was that first worm out there super early? They told him, like, you got to get up early. He was out there before the bird was. You think about it, the worm was there first. The early worm get catches by the bird. That don't make sense. Yo, they set that worm up. Worms just living life. Why are you 15 minutes late? You want to be alive. No, you get a raise if you get up there early. What are you talking about? See, don't take advice from a tight end. Take philosophy advice from high-class dirtbags. Facts. We the high-class dirtbags play. I used to say that to my teachers in high school. We are trained professionals in the art of being politically incorrect. Where are you? And this has been too woke for sleep. Fuck y'all, man. Y'all wasn't with me this week. Y'all wasn't with me, man. I'm too woke for y'all. You're way too woke for us. I'm snoring. So where the fuck we going now, man? What y'all want to do, man? Let's go with no for me, dawg. All right. This week on... That's a no for me, dawg. You got us in the building. What are we going to do? You gonna do it or? You gonna do it, man. Fuck it. Which one y'all wanna go with? So you're not pushing the button? He just pushed it. That's a no from me, dawg. I thought that was you actually saying it. That's why you looked at me like that. Sam, all right. So first one, we gonna start off like this. Would you date someone who can talk to ghosts? What is that, a medium? Hell yeah. I don't know. Hold on. Here's my question. I always have a question with these. Is it somebody who can just talk to ghosts or somebody who visibly lets everybody fucking know? Like, you know, one of those mediums that's like, oh, I can feel the spirits. Oh, yeah, see, yeah. But they kind of keep it to themselves. That's why you always put it in perspective for me. You right, too. God damn. I mean, me personally, I could not date, like, the medium who was like, well, I feel the energy of the room. Is it crystal for you? Like, yeah, I couldn't date that. Nah, crystal chicks. Secretly knowing? Me too, yo. Fuck no. I couldn't date nobody secretly knowing because I'd be sitting there and they'd be like, yo, they'd be sitting there like, yo, I'm talking to your grandpa right now. And he says, you got to stop jacking off it. midnight on Thursdays. Like, what the hell? What is you doing there? Grandpa, you can go anywhere else in this world. Why you in here with me? That's a no from me, dog. That's a no from me, dog. Tell my grandpa at 12 o'clock, don't come here. You know what the game is. You can also take grandpa to a poker game. Grandpa would just sit there behind on fucking Austin and be like, yo, grandpa, what you got? Exactly. No, she could. So she can play poker. This man over here. Always trying to think of a way to get some money out of her. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. I would do it. That's a yes for me, dog. Only if she's like down low. Not like, she doesn't make a profession of it. This has to be her only thing. She can't be a crystal chick and a medium. No, she's just somebody who's like. Like, this is her talent. Yeah, like, I can play like an instrument. I'm not a musician. You know what I mean? Like, conversationally speaks to ghosts, not advertising. Kind of like the little dude on Sixth Sense. Exactly. Like, you just see it, but you still go with your daily life. But you see shit. No, I'm good. I would do it. The type of motherfucker would be like, you've been dead this whole time. Like, nigga, you just telling me this shit eight months? Eight months into this shit? You've been dead this whole time. You have to figure it out yourself. I think I actually might prefer this because they might be able to give you some warnings on some stuff. You know, if they're sensitive to that, you know, to that feel, they might be able to tell you about, you know, somebody's on that bullshit. I grew up. She didn't even fuck with you, too. It would be really cool if she was just like, you know, wants your seat or something like that and she's like, oh, there's a dead body right there. And you're like, ah! She might give you drop. You don't leave her. I grew up with a grandma that was like that. It's not as fun as it sounds. I know, bro. That's what I wanted to tell you. It's not as fun as it sounds, though. Yeah, that's a no for me, though. That's a no for me, though. Is she attracted? Are ghosts attracted to her? That's the thing. I'm just saying, like, yeah, with a hamo, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they father her around, though. You'd be like, I'm paranoid. Paranormal activity. You get the wrong one. I don't even know who shows calling my phone. I think I've dated crazier women, so yeah, why not? Yeah, I bet you would, dog. I would. You don't have to go back. You don't have to go back. I'll say this now. If I was fucking with her and I started and I'm liking this chick and then she tells me, I'm still. I'm in at that point. I think that's what I assume. I don't think it was just like, hi, my name is Oren. And she's like, hi, my name is Julia. I talk to ghosts. Yeah, it would be like, bye. First, second conversation, she tell you that, then I'm still probably like, ugh. You got to have at least a few months in. Of course they're going to wait until you love them to tell you that. Like, I got a hit. Like, I got a hit. Got you, bitch. You know, every Thursday we go down to the spot and tell you a ghost. What's wrong with you? She probably using ghosts to fall in love with me and shit like that. She be asking the ghost, is my boyfriend cheating on me? Like, shit. Damn. I see everything. Me and my ghost friend know some things about you. Like, yo, Yeah, that'd also be a no for me then. That's a hell no. Until you piss her off and she's like, get him. I pissed off. You ever see that movie, Drag You to Hell or some shit? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm good, though. He clocked out. I'm cool for me, though. I'm cool on that one. I'm cool on that, though. That's definitely, I'm cool on that. Damn. That might need to be in the next segment. I'm cool on that. All right, what else we got, man? So, Check this out. Hold on. Next. That's a no for me, dawg. No. You dating a chick. She got a birthday dinner she planned. All her friends and shit coming. And you go. Are you required to pay the bill for everybody?

UNKNOWN: 44:23

Fuck no.

SPEAKER_00: 44:24

Damn, you put some flim on that joint. Yeah. Whoever makes the plans pays. That's my thing. Like, if I put together a surprise birthday party for my lady, then yeah, I'm paying. Yeah, then you're paying for it. But if she put the joint together, that's a no. But if it's like, you know, a birthday dinner when she, you know, everybody, you know, she coming, so you're paying for everybody to have. Here's the reason. Here's the reason, though, because here's the thing. Here's the thing. She's inviting your competition. You don't know it. Ooh. Wait, what? You got deep on that. She's inviting your competition. It's always a side piece, man. You know ladies got like five options. You just the number one for the time. No, that is not. The views of the podcast. No, because it's like, okay, cool. Like, if she's putting together a party or some shit, like, who is she cool enough with that's a dude that she can just be like, all right, cool. I'm going to bring you to this joint. I'm paying. No, but you know, birthday dinner. Nine times out of ten. Like her girlfriends and shit. Like, I don't think I know. Yeah. Because number one, if we're doing that and you're talking about inviting dudes, no, we're not. That's my point. Yeah, it's usually like her friends and their boyfriends or husbands. Right, something like that, yeah. Yeah, that's my joint. If I'm making the plans, then yeah, cool. I'll put the deposit down at the very least, you know, if everybody's paying for their house or whatever. No, I'm paying for her. No, I'm talking about the group. That's the question, right? The group. I was invited to this. It depends. It depends. Like, if I made the, if my girl like, yo, this is my girl. But he said invited. Like, this is my girl, 30 years, yeah, yeah. If you're invited, no. I'll pay for my girl shit and be like, oh, yeah. But if I'm invited and the boy be like, yo, you invited to your girl, you know, a party with your girl, like, all right, cool. And I get there and they be like, here's the bill. I be like, hold on, though. Nah, nigga, we got to fight. We got to fight. I ain't had nothing to do with the planning of this party whatsoever. I was invited. Meaning, when you invited somewhere, it's like, okay, like, yo, we're going to invite you to a party. It's like, all right, well, I know if I come, I'm at least going to be able to pay for myself because I ain't going to go nowhere if I can't buy my own shit. You know what I'm saying? So with that being said, I ain't come to a party that I was invited to. I don't care if it was for my girl or anybody, my mama, anybody. I ain't about to pay for everybody. I am a guest. I am a guest, dog. If I am there at the infancy stages of the planning of the party, then yes, I will gladly pay my share if not the whole thing. But if you just inherit the end result? Nah. Nah, but it depends. I guess it really depends though because if we get to the party and like we at the party and I got a scenario. Would you do it if you get to the party that you was invited to, your girl, y'all been dating for a couple of months. Alright, cool. And then come to find out the person, her friends that plan the party ain't got enough money to pay the people at the end of it. What would you do? That would call us home. I'm definitely going to say something bad. You need better friends. That's enough for me, though. Yeah, for real. You want to make reservations at a joint you can't afford? I'd get it if something happened. I would be like, well, ladies, let me know how it works out for you. For real. It could be your turn to flex. Yeah, we're going to get out of here. Or it could be your turn to flex. You know what I mean? Like, the ladies can't make it. Yeah, I got you. Then they'd be like, ooh, you got such a great man. All right, other shit. That makes sense. It all depends on the relationship with the girls. Like, do you get along with her friends? Obviously, if you do not get along with her, like, are you thinking Martin would be paying for Pam? I'm definitely not there. No, no. I mean, yeah. We like, y'all ain't that all the shit anyway. Facts. We out. Y'all figure it out. That's going to be a no for me, my boys. Yeah. Fuck that. If it was my mama, I don't care the situation I'm in. For everybody? Yeah. If it was my mama, hell yeah. If it was my mama? Nah, dog. Hold on. You can't compare your girl with your mama. No, but I'm saying... You didn't say wife. He just said girl. I'm just saying girl. I'm just saying if it was my girl, nah, probably not. Probably not. Pay for my girl? Don't pay for her. It's true. I'd pay for my mama's shit, though. You're talking about your mama's friends, though. Yeah. Your mama's friends got... Nah, nah. I ain't gonna ruin my mama's birthday. Nah, well... That's why I'll put the deposit down. I wouldn't do it. I would probably do it with my girl, girl. Like my wife type shit. Like, you know, like who I plan on being with forever. My girl upstairs right now. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I would do it for her. Shout out, shout out, shout out. Okay, so that's a yes from me, dog. Fuck y'all niggas, dog. She listens to this podcast. Fuck y'all niggas. You hear that? Kudos to me, dog. Give me some kudos. Come on, I love you, Alright, alright. Next on, next on. Would you piss Mike Tyson off or dare? You seen dude the other day piss him off. Was that a dare? Yo, he got off easy. It feels like it. Was that a dare? He got off easy. Was that a dare? I don't know. They said he was excited just to see him, but he kept on talking his ear off and antagonizing. I was like, it had to be a dare. That boy looked at the camera like two times. No, I think they were drunk. He looked at the camera twice. Somebody gassed him up and he got a couple lumps. He was like. Yeah, something like that. He knew exactly where to look at. He was like, that's camera one, camera two. Here we go. We going to commercial break? The commercial break. The question was, would you piss Mike Tyson off for a dare? I wouldn't have did that if my man was like, yo, I got 100,000. From a distance. Would you do it? From a distance. Just a dare? I'm on my phone. I'll text him. Hold on. Just a dare. Just so I can say that I pissed. No. Usually we have a monetary value to these kind of questions. If I'm going to risk my life, I at least need a check. No fame? All of a sudden I'm a lyricist now? Here's the proof. Nobody knows that guy's name. Like, period. Like, we talking about... I think he does it on because he's fucking embarrassed. Honestly, I would be pretty embarrassed if Mike Tyson beat the shit out of me. Yeah, because everybody weighed in on it. Old-ass Mike Tyson? Like, what the fuck? It'd be a cool party story. I mean, that's old Mike Tyson, but old Mike Tyson still knocked everybody out. That man is a beast. But you gotta tell the story like, yeah, I was being stupid as fuck, just fucking with a man. That's enough of me, though. I think it's cooler just to say you saw him on the plane. Even if there was some money involved... Not doing it. Unless you Jake Paul getting like, you know, a cup of milk. I'd also feel bad because I know Mike isn't the smartest person in the world. I'd just be like, you know. You was fucking with him, yeah. Like fucking with like, you know. And he's so on that peace level now. Like he doesn't, he's not about that conflict. Old Mike Tyson, that's what I'm saying. Like you must have been really, when you tell that story, you got to be like, yeah, I was kind of fucking stupid for doing that shit. Old Mike Tyson, I wouldn't step near. No. I would just be afraid that he was just. Young Mike Tyson, I wouldn't step near. Young Mike Tyson, I don't know. Back in the day, Mike Tyson. Young Mike Tyson, yeah. You're trying to set him back on his journey right now. If you do that now, that's just been an asshole. Young Mike Tyson? Hell no. That's why I said over the phone. The older, new Mike Tyson.

UNKNOWN: 51:48

I wouldn't even do that.

SPEAKER_00: 51:49

Yeah, he might find your ass. There might be a chance he's got a fight in Atlanta. He's like, yo, that motherfucker lives here, don't he? Let's go. You got stupid money back in the day, too. That motherfucker was knocking motherfuckers' blocks off in the grocery store. Stupid money. No money. No motherfucking gloves, dog. Dude just lucky he didn't have the whole motherfucking space to get them hits off. He hit him with the pinky. He had that space to get a swing off. One of them swings, he would turn, do a head around in that seat. They would have to land the plane early. They would have to look behind him like, oh, wait a minute, is he dead? Yeah, he was just in the plane like... Is there a medical professional on the plane? Somebody just got knocked the fuck out. Can you imagine playing first? First class for all that, you know, what is it, like a four grand ticket and just getting knocked out. Bro, that's a show for everybody else. I'm like, yo. So I guess that's a no for everybody? Yeah. No, nah. That's a no for me, dawg. This is a fact. Unless you hate your life. All right, what else we got? I'm going to do this because this is kind of, I'm not going to say personal to me, but sometimes you just don't like motherfuckers. So if you, you know, you work on set, y'all work on sets and shit, and your team, and there's one person on the team that you just fucking hate his guts or hate her guts, and she She comes up to you like, hey Orin, I'm having a party this weekend. All the guys are coming. She invites you. Are you going? Or he invites you. If it's, like, are we having a party at, like, you know, an evented place? Yes. Like, Topgolf? Automatic? No, fuck off. But if it was one of those, like, I've seen parties at the indoor skydiving places. Like, if it was, like, one of those opportunities, I would pay to, like... Even if you don't... Even if I hate the bitch. Like, I would go just to go to something like that. But we're having a party in my backyard now. No? Yeah, I'll do it. I'll go to your house. Just while everybody's distracted where my balls are, I'll do it. Not the door handle. You might catch something from that joint. Wait, does this person not know you hate her? I don't know. I'm just saying. I'll go to your house and rub my balls on all the door handles. No, the person does know you hate her. No hands. Exactly. I don't know. If I don't like the person that much, I'm becoming so much more of a homebody now. I might just stay in for that night. If it's just a a regular like a regular get together and it's like five people one of my own fuck with that might be enough to be like you know what I might have to think about yeah there's only one genuine motherfucker in my business that I don't like you know who you are motherfucker so if he be like yo we going to Blas de Blas house like shit boy you fucking crazy that person you don't fuck with is hosting the joint like they didn't oh yeah that's a definite no that's a definite no if they're hosting it that's right I know, but if it was like in a place where I've never been. You went to 12th? Yeah. Yeah, I would totally go to like indoor skydiving or something. If it's some cool shit, like yo, man, we going to do this, especially some shit I'm good at. Yo, we about to go all do some blah, blah, blah. We about to go paintball. I'm about to go show off. Oh, paintball, that's another situation. That's where you get your licks in. Oh, that's where I'm fucking messing up. That's exactly where you're at. Yo, we actually did that one time. We had a rapport and we ran a gauntlet at this paintball joint. So everybody had to run the same 50-foot or 100-foot stretch, and everybody was lined up, getting their licks, letting their stress off. That was the funniest joint ever. You did this with your white friends, didn't you? It was like 99% white folks. I might have been the only one. It was me and a Mexican. That was the only one. It's lit. We had like 20 boys. You were like, me and a Mexican. Yeah, we was the only ones. Me and a Mexican. against each other. One of us, they're not going to be approved. Good luck, bro. Good luck. Everybody try to do the difference better than each other. I can just imagine them both standing there holding hands waiting for their announcement. Which one are they going to pick? Which one are they going to pick? I'm happy it's you, bro. Oh, man. I was about to see my homie Diego, man. That joke was kind of funny. UPM ran out there. We lit his ass up. Damn. Oh, we lit his ass up. I would go. That's a game show. That was like Price is Right, wasn't it? That's a no from me, dawg. That's a no from me, dawg. All right, what else we got? You think that's what we're going to do now? No, I didn't want to do this one, man. I'm going to do this one. If you play big sports, all right, if you played in a big sports league, would you rather take a big contract and always lose or take a smaller one to win. And hold on. Before we do this, I'm going to tell you what I thought about this shit. I'm a 49er fan, so Debo Samuel is going to his fourth year and he wants a max contract. Some people say he deserves it. Some people say he don't. But he's willing to leave them. I'm not saying we're a championship team, but we have aspirations. We was close last year. We won play away. He's trying to want to leave that situation to go to maybe like, let's say the Jets, who has definitely not, probably not winning no games. Yeah, they done that with the Dolphins. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? So you're not, you know, maybe I was, but you know, you take an, and then like you see in the NBA, players do the same thing. Like they'll get the big contract to go to a sorry ass team just to say they got all the money instead of taking, you know, less of a pay cut and win a fucking championship. I'm going to phrase this in a way that we know you don't. Would you rather work on a big budget opportunity Oscar winning movie that's gonna be you know Jurassic Park for a lower rate would you rather work your normal rate on some Disney channel show that nobody will ever see I usually take the lower rate dog in the fucking Oscar movie no but this is not just the one thing this is for your whole you know obviously in comparison to a football player it's not it's a whole season it's not like a one month show you're talking like a 10 season 15 season yeah we're talking about a whole year nah we would say like a year a year it'd be like a year would you work for a year for a small contract nah and again but also this is also sports so none of this is guaranteed there's also injuries depending on the position and yeah the position the position quarterback yeah that makes sense to do it you do a few years like this you can do it in film I would say in film if I was the DP I would say no because you become known for that you get soft as well no but in a sense he's right on like give an opportunity to like be the head thing if you're moving up yeah if you went from like a D2 school if you like the third string line then nigga I'm taking the money yeah 100% I'm taking like shit dog 100% if I'm third string no matter where I go I'm taking the best contract fuck if I win or lose I'm third string that makes sense I'm third string that makes sense I'm third string so here's the perspective here because if you're in the NFL and you get like a minimum not a minimum but you get an okay contract you're talking about$750,000 a year like That's real. That's real. A lot of people are second string guard or second string tackle, and they're getting 750 to 1.1. They're in there. That's a good year. That's a very good year, but that's only for three seasons, maybe four. So what happens with most folks in that situation is if they're on a winning team, say they're on the Patriots and they just rode Tom Brady's dick for 10 years, they end up cashing those Super Bowl rings in 15 years later. They're trying to sell it. They're always the ones putting that shit in. You guys are using football as an Football is the easy one to use. Like, let's go with baseball, where the minimum pay is, like, like, my league today, like, you'd only be making, like, I think,$100,000 at the most. But it doesn't really apply to baseball because baseball, like, you can make$300 million, as much money as you ever made, and still go to a championship team. How about that? Baseball doesn't have a salary cap either. So, baseball is actually the best one to use. Because baseball, you can get$300 million and still go to a team. You'd be 15. Yeah. Well, and still be the third string motherfucker you know what I'm saying I'm talking about like straight up like yo with this grassroots we ain't got nothing like look I'm telling y'all right now we can't offer y'all that much money up front but back end incentives all this stuff we gonna win we gonna win and all that money on the back end you gonna come me personally though I just watched something with Jason Weaver Jason Weaver is the actor who played Michael Michael Jackson in the Jackson 5 movie he also played he played in ATL and he plays Simba on The Lion King. He sung all Simba shit and he plays Simba, right? This motherfucker back in the day, him and his mom and his agents and his lawyers, instead of taking a$2 million cash offer from Disney up front, he took the residuals. Because he took that residuals, that motherfucker is filthy. But that's residuals. But that goes back to the Oscar-worthy thing. Nine times out of ten, if you working on a low-budget Oscar-worthy movie, they gonna give you some kind of reparations on the back. If you're the quarterback, you're the quarterback. Yeah, if you're the director of DP, maybe DP. If you were the show originator, you did the pilot. DP, cinematographer, hair, makeup, wardrobe, all that. Maybe, not all of them. If you negotiate it. No, he's got a point because if you get an Oscar for costumes, you might get a little bump. But again, here's another thing. We'll go back to, again, it's It's all in the position where you are. Like, I'm going to go back to baseball. As a single individual, as a pitcher, you only as a pitcher have so many throws in a lifetime. Yeah. So are you going to get the best pay? Because you're going to go out there and you're going to pitch your best game. I understand that. That's where I'm at. But it goes back to the position. You've got to go for the money. It depends on, to answer this question, we have to like, it's too versatile, like the position where you are. No, I get what you're saying, but what I'm saying is it depends on the position. If you are the lead of the team head department or quarterback like top tier like the person that everybody looks to in the franchise you know what I'm saying but eventually because you know if you go take the lesser money go to a winning team and you win that's more money than if you would just take a big contract up front it's all about how you structure your legacy because you got the sponsorships you got all that shit that goes back to the Oscar winning thing I am at that point in my career where I will purposely turn down a Marvel movie or a or whoever's TV show just to go work on some independent shit because I feel like the independent shit at this point in my career means more to me. Winning a championship means more to me than the actual fucking money. Okay, here's a perfect example. That's also a position of where you are in your career. That's also a big variable. You're just coming out of the draft in this scenario. You know what I mean? Perfect scenario, Michael Jordan, right? So you got to remember, there was a salary cap when he was balling. There still is a salary cap. cap in the NBA. That's what I'm saying. There was a salary cap when he was balling. So for him to put the team around himself, he had to take a little bit of an L to guarantee that he's got a pippet on the team. But again, he was already a Michael Jordan. True. True. But Michael Jordan didn't do shit on the Wizards. You got to build that team around you so he's got to take a little bit of an L. Even LeBron James has to do that to this day. He can't go out and get, alright, cool, we're going to only have a roster of X, Y, Z. And that goes back to what sometimes Sometimes getting the money up front isn't the best option. Yeah, because Jordan makes more money on his shoes than he ever would have as a baller. You're right, but here's another thing. Where I'm coming from is as a player, you're noticed whether you're on a bad team or a good team. So let's say you have three years. We're just going to say three years with either scenario. You have three years of a losing team making big money or three years of winning. The next season... after your contract, you can get on a new team. Like Matthew Stafford. And then you can do the... Matthew Stafford, for instance, right? Matthew Stafford was on the Detroit Lions for a decade. For a fucking damn near 11 years, he was there and lose every year. Putting up 5,000 yards every season. Every season, 5,000 yards. Breaking passing records. Just throwing it. Throwing it to Megatron. Throwing it to whoever. Just breaking it, right? All right, cool. He gets traded to the L.A. Rams... For less money and wins a championship his first year. So you mean to tell, and I'm going to speak, I'm going to go on a limb and speak for him here. I guarantee you those 10 years that he spent in Detroit compared nothing to that one fucking championship. So with that being said, because a lot of these kids play for, you know, when we talk of sports, play their whole life hoping for a championship. So I would say the impact for me would be more of a championship. versus the money. Is Reggie Miller any less of a baller because he never won a ship? But you're not guaranteeing a championship in this scenario. It's a winning team. It's got to be a possibility if you're winning a team. Big contracts can always lose or take a smaller one to win. I made it up for the Devo Samuelsson situation. The past three, four years, we went to one Super Bowl, two NFC championships. You know what I'm saying? You want to leave that Because you see these other guys getting a max. And you know, the max, you might get like 80 a year or something. Detroit Lions was going to give Matthew Stafford a huge contract. But he was like, nah. But hold on. Here's the thing. Even in this scenario, you can predict a winning team, that you'll get put on a winning team. But you can't predict a championship. Because having a winning team doesn't guarantee a championship. Yeah, true. Remember, the Patriots, 18 and fucking 1, lost to the Giants, who had the most losingest team coming in losing. I understand what you're saying, but this question says, take the big contract or always lose or take the smaller one to always win. But even on a winning team, you get playoffs, you get extra money. I'd rather have the opportunity to win the Oscar versus just get another check. Because I know if I win that, if I'm a, go back to the movie shit, if I'm a department head and I win I could take that and get as big of a check out if I ever won. Hold on. And same thing with NFL. You can go to a team for a one-year, two-year deal, take less money, win a ring, and then go get a fucking$100 million deal. But hold on. This is the thing that we're jumping from. You and I, we've been doing this for over a decade, 20. I'm asking for this scenario. Is this somebody who is just now joining? This is a first-time draft. Or is it somebody who's been in? Because as a veteran... agree with you. We're talking about just in general. But it's a big thing. As a veteran, I agree with you. I would take the Oscar winning thing. As a veteran, you would take it. But that's what I'm saying though. I see where you're going with this. But it's the first time I have worked my whole life. So when you first came in doing this, would you take the money? When you first started doing this, that's what he's trying to say. Everybody wants the money. Everybody wants the money, but not everybody wants the money because I've done that. Because now you're comfortable. Exactly. We're comfortable now. We can pay cuts. No, but I've done it in the past, though. You know what I'm saying? So I understand what you're saying, but I've done it my whole career, bro. My whole career. I've been like, nah, I could go do this. I could go make as much money as I want to right now, work as long as I want to, but nah, I'd rather go do the shit that's more important. So you step out of film school. This is a scenario. You step out of film school. Your first day out of in the graduate, you graduate, you have your world ahead of you, and Marvel comes up to you and they're like, hey, we want you on all of the Avengers. Or, Lighthouse Productions comes to you and is like, hey, we have this indie movie about, you know, two gay cowboys that could win an Oscar. Like, which one are you taking? But we're going to let you produce. No, that's a whole other... He's got to have that because in sports you do get that chance. Hold on, hold on. He's adding attributes to make it more... You're saying... We're just talking about it to add that. We're just talking about it in general. You gotta add that to the conversation because in film, you don't get the leadership position, but in sports, you do. You do get to... So in this scenario, do I get to produce both? That's like Brian Tannehill coming in first season. No, but what I'm saying is they're like, yo, alright, yo, we're gonna hire you as the camera digital utility on Marvel. You'll work nine months straight, bruh, and we're gonna give you full ride out of town, all that blah, blah, blah. Okay, about$100,000 a year. Alright, cool. Mind you, on the other and be like, hey, we're a small company, blah, blah, blah. We want you to come produce for us. Well, you're only going to get probably 50% to 60% of how much you would get from them. You know what I'm saying? But you'll be at a higher position. But when you walk away from this, we'll probably win an Oscar. But that's also, again, this is too... Come on, dawg. You keep falling. Hold on. Come on, dawg. Let me say. You're trying to tell me what... I've done it, dawg. But hold on. Your comparison is what I'm saying. It's like you're basically saying, hey, would you come... be a tower boy on the fucking, you know, Patriots, or would you rather come be quarterback on the Cardinals? Like, everybody's going to pick me quarterback on the Cardinals. You're asking a person to be a producer or a low-level? Like, you have to make it the same position, is what I'm saying. You know, because... Obviously, we're going to take the producer game. I'm going to take the higher position. You're going to let me talk, or you're just going to over-talk me? Because if you're going to over-talk me, then I'll let you just talk. Okay, so you brought... up the movie world, right? So now I'm bringing that analogy. It's like, that's how that analogy works in the movie world. But it doesn't work with your sports analogy. But you're not going to be quarterback on one team and be a kicker on another team. You're going to be quarterback and quarterback. You keep on over-talking me, you got to let me talk. You know what I'm saying? If you let me talk, then I'll explain my analogy. You know what I'm saying? Like, what are we doing here? But you still, that's still not the same. It's got to be the same shit. No, alright, so it's like, alright, you want You want to get the big contract? Always lose, right? You the starting quarterback for these niggas, right? You the starting quarterback for the Cardinals. Always going to lose. We're going to give you$200 million, but you're going to always fucking lose. You ain't going to be in no championships, no nothing like that, right? Or you could go be the starting quarterback for the Rams, right? We're going to win a championship, right? But with the starting quarterback, being the starting quarterback of the Rams becomes you get sponsorships because we're winning, right? So not only do you get sponsorships, but you get to create content because we're winning. You become a producer for your content because we're winning. So it's not just, like, that's what I'm saying, bro. So when you go to the movie shit, though, if you're going to be a producer here, you got to be a producer over there. Because you are winning. We can simplify this real quick. When you get an Oscar, you can do whatever the fuck you want. You can be like, yo, I'm an Oscar-winning fucking DP. I want to produce. But again, if you're a producer, if you're a producer... Right? If you're a Super Bowl... Hold on, hold on, hold on. If you're a Super Bowl winning quarterback, you could be like, I want to be announcer. Okay, cool. But if you're a Super Bowl winning... If you're a motherfucker that's like, yo, I amassed half a billion dollars in my career, but did you win anything? No. Okay. But that's not the point. That makes you an analyst. Literally, 100%. I got a way to break this down beyond all the context. Would you rather be the least... significant winner or the most important loser? That's all we trying to say. That's all it comes down to. That's all it comes down to. Would you rather be the most important loser or the least significant winner? That's it. That's it. So it's like, all right, cool. If you want to be the least significant winner, you get to ride coattails, but what is your legacy? In the long run, if it's a long run thing, I would take the more successful, like the money in the long run. That's what I'm saying. I would take the money because nine times out of ten, the second string tackle on the Patriots ends up selling their championship ring because they didn't have the brand. Just happened this week, world championship tennis player, like literally world, and some German dude filed bankruptcy because he was so broke. Something happened, filed bankruptcy, hid some of his assets, just got sentenced to two and a half years in jail. Number one tennis player in the world. Yeah, I might have to take the money on that one. I get what you're saying. I would rather have the legacy, don't get me wrong, because Jordan's made a thousand times more money with his shoes and his game. A thousand more times. But then again, he has... had that command because he was a champion. I see what y'all saying, but in our era that we grew up with, I would take the money, right? In this era that we're in now, I would take the legacy because the legacy would lead to more money. The legacy would, and that's my point. That's my point. That's my point. That's my point. Allen Iverson had both. That's my point. That's my point. A.R. had both. This is why he's such a great example because he had the money up front. But that's what I'm saying. It's a generational thing. When we were growing up, it was like, yo, you take the money. That's what motherfuckers are doing. Motherfuckers are like, yo, I'm going to take this money. Now you got motherfuckers like, yo, I'll take less money and play with these other motherfuckers. It flip-flopped twice. Because here's the thing. Back in the day, you didn't have the money to take advantage of. Back in the day, Allen Iverson couldn't dream of the contracts that are coming across the table right now. So it's flip-flopped twice in the last 40 years or so. No, I get that. But what I'm saying now, in the time that we're living in, I feel like the legacy is more important. Oh, for sure. You can make more money off of the money. You get a sneaker deal? Oh, my God. To speak on what he was saying, in comparison, like a great contract, even shitty contracts back in the day were great. You know what I mean? A shitty contract now was a great contract fucking 30 years ago. Right. Exactly. So there's also that, you know, like, yeah, I'm going to make 40 million for the year. Like, agents are making more now than players did then. Yeah. But the whole thing is an age perspective, though. No, it is. It's like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. would do one thing of what you know now. If you're young, you're going to get as big of a bag as you can as fast as possible. This is a guy that owns like 40% of the Wendy's in America. And he was a no-name basketball player. I can't remember his name right now. But that's his legacy. He's got so much bread right now. It's not even funny. And he's a no-name. Me personally, it takes a young Jason Weaver to be like, I don't want your$2 million. I'll take the residual. And that's scary too. And that's scary. You don't know. How you paying the bills for the first 10 years? But you don't know. But at the same time, I can honestly say as a grown man, I've been the same way as a young man. I always was like, you know what? I'm going to take this because I'd rather have the back end than the front end. Because my mom always taught me, don't worry about the monetary games. A lot of times people get so caught up with monetary games, they don't see the bigger picture. You know what's so crazy? I've always been like that too. Guess what? Nigga, that shit ain't work out for me. You know what I'm saying? I'm still waiting on the back end. I'm still waiting on some shit I did with some motherfuckers. Trust me, it don't work out all the time, and that's why a lot of motherfuckers be like, yo, I'm just going to get this bag. I mean, not to get preachy on this joint, but something. But me, it's just all about what makes you sleep at night. Because you sleep better with a bigger bag or just knowing that, hey, I changed the world through my movie. You know what I'm saying? Me, personally, I'm the type, I was like, I'd rather make a movie that changes the world versus just make half a billion dollars in and throw money at the crowd. Because that'll get you into every conversation that money won't get you into. Elevation. Like, I think most of us would even pay to actually make a movie that changes the world. We're just talking about making money, not making money. Right. Okay. Would you rather be Amy Schumer or Chris Rock? Making money and not winning. That's what we're talking about, dog. Amy Schumer making money, though. I mean, when a motherfucker changes, when a sports team wins a fucking championship, it changes the world. the world for the motherfuckers who celebrate their fucking... The whole city gets changed. It doesn't change the world, it changes the city. It changes the whole... The world for the city? The fuck? My world is Atlanta, dawg. What the fuck? Where the fuck we at, dawg? When the Olympics came to Atlanta, everything changed. Everything changed when the Olympics came. Come on, man. I gotta go. Come on, bro. We went from that's a no for me talk, dawg, to yeah, I gotta go. I'm gonna take the world on from what I've seen. Yeah, you're going to take the money, man. Again, we don't know the legacy of the future. You're saying guaranteed win versus guaranteed loss is a bigger check. I'm going with the win. But here's the other thing. We've seen, like, obviously there's more money now for these contract players, everything like that, but we don't know their legacy because we're still watching it unfold. Whereas we know the legacy of previous championship winners who have taken sacrifices of money. And based on that, I'm going to go with the bigger contract. Because for one LeBron James, there's 10 Wilt Chamberlains. Easy. One LeBron James, there's one Wilt Chamberlain. No, no, no. For every one LeBron, there's 10 Wilt Chamberlains. I'm saying that because they're both champions, but not everybody's got the back. That's a fact. Hold on, man. The last thing I do want to talk about because I thought this shit was hilarious. I grew up playing this game, so I had to talk about this shit just for a brief second. Who do you think would be the toughest person to beat if it was a present day Def Jam Vandetta. Nobody. None of them can't fight. All they're going to do is shoot. All they're going to do is shoot you. Nobody. If it's the baby. If the baby's in there, he's the champion. Def Jam Vandetta back in the day was a video game for PlayStation. It had all the rappers. Fat Joe was the boss. Fat Joe and Big Poe was the boss. It was crazy. That's NFL Street. If you You didn't play them too? I don't, bro. I'm pretty sure they was made by the same person. Yeah. I'm going to say, modern day, DaBaby's undefeated. Hands down. Definitely, dog. Hands down. I just think it's dope. And he caught a charge today. I've seen him sneaking a bunch of niggas. Hey, man. The baby caught a charge on the weekend. Nigga, who you don't catch a charge on the weekend? In a game where who get touches and who don't get touched? The man who don't get touched always wins. Yes. It don't matter the scenario. Mayweather's going to win every time. Hey, that was undefeated. I feel like Will Smith's smack would probably be the finishing move or something. If there was some more to combat, hell yeah. Def Jam Vandetta, they would be like, yo, Will Smith. He'd be the secret boss. Will Smith would be the secret boss. I'd unplug my shit. That motherfucker be the secret boss. Or hit me with that funny joint. I'd unplug my shit. Motherfucker be the fucking secret boss. You'd be like, yo, who's the final secret boss? That'd be the tag team. Like Rumble Man was back in the G. All right, man. Well, that has been That's a no for me, dawg. You know it. I'm going to take the win. I didn't know it was a competition. I'm going to take the win. You can have it. I'm going to take the win. You can have it. All right, man. Hold on. All right. We're going to do this real quick. Guess what time it is? Push it. No, it's not your time. Damn it. Yo, he got so hyped, too. He was like, yeah, I'm ready. It's not your time, though. It's... Yes. What you doing? What you doing? It's Guess That Crime time, baby. You didn't put this on the sheet, so I forgot about it. We're going to Guess That Crime. All right. It's time to Guess That Crime. All right. For those at home who have not listened to the High Class Dirtbags, if this is your first time tuning in, Guess That Crime is where we talk. talk about a crime, and then you have to guess what race, a denomination of person, background, those who committed the crime is from. So, all right, we're going to get right to it. Texas man fatally shoots neighbor during ongoing dispute about a dog running loose. And this is shit that's going to get us canceled, too, again. Or picked up. Or picked up, yeah. Or picked up, yeah. Texas man. Pressure's on. That's on me. All right, I'm going to say right, man. I'm going to say we're in Texas. Statistically, I feel like white is the safest answer. Not safest, but statistically the best answer. It's Texas. It's a big place. I'm going to say it's got to be a white boy because he had that thing on him. It's not like you go in the house and then come back for the dog. No, I think I did hear the story. I think he actually went back in the house and got it. Oh, he did? I don't remember the race, though. I don't know. One white, one white, one white. It depends on what was the transaction. Did he go back in the house? Did he go to the car? because if black men go to the car, white men go to the living room. All right, y'all guessed it. I'm going to go white boy. It was white boy. All right, one point for everybody. Keep it scoring this one. Oh, shit. All right. Or be scoring. Florida TSA agent arresting the accused of creating fake police report for a burglary that never happened to cover up being late for work. Black. That's some shit we'd do. That's some CPT. You said TSA. No, oh, no. Wait a minute. How late was she, though? If it's three minutes, that's a white boy. If it's 15, that's a black person. I'm saying black. I'm going to say white. The reason why is that Firelot and the majority of TSA employees are black. So that's why I'm going statistically. This is what I'm going with. That was a come up back in the day. I'm going with you on this one because everybody knows the TSAs. I said black first, but then I'm switching to white because we ain't about to just fuck with the police. No, I'm going to say black. This is Florida. People are not exactly the smartest either. Goddamn. No, that's going to be the cancellation. It wasn't black. It wasn't white. It was black. Oh, points. Your points, Ross. Alex. Boston. Austin. Goddamn. That just sounds like some black shit, though. Can we make up some more shit? I'm surprised because sometimes you just be bold with it. Now she's actually going to be like, We don't give a fuck about that. The next one. Florida bride and chef arrested for lacing the wedding food with weed. Guests get sick and call the cops. The cops show up and discover that the food was laced and arrest the wife or the bride and the chef. The bride and chef. I'm going to say white and the cops was black. It's a parlay. I'm going to say white and the chef was black. Who else is going to cook the food? The black girl. Now, the bride is definitely white. The cops was black. What about the chef, though? The chef, he was Mexican. Hispanic. I said black, dude. You just evened the score. What is it? What did he say? White, right? It was white and black. Oh, it was white and black. The bride was white. Oh, damn. I almost got a half. The chef was black. Damn, he called it. I feel like you should get two points for that. You should. I'm going to give you two points for that. That's a parlay. He hit both. Flames and a win. Because he say chef and something. If you type in chef on Instagram, you'll see just like black people. Parlay over here. Parlay flame. Cooking the air fries and shit. Nigga, I saw a seven course meal from an air fry, nigga.

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One bite.

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:41

Seven course? The seven course is eight minutes. Air fryer. Air fryer. Air fryer. Air fryer. Air fryer. Air fryer. Air fryer. Air fryer. Air fryer. Hold on. Before you ask the next question, all of this is located in the southeastern part of the country. All these fucking crimes are happening. All right. We got to go. We got to get it through. All right. Florida woman stopped boyfriend from driving drunk, so she drives him to the drive-by. I'm black. Black. Black. Did she know he was driving to the drive-by? Black drove him to the what? Do white people drive by? Nope. That's what I said. Black. And it's Florida. Dudes get drunk. Dudes get drunk. He's like, yo, I'm about to go do a drive-by. drive-by. His girl's like, nah, you've been drinking. Let me drive you. She drives him to the drive-by. That is so backwards. You need your shooter to be more sober. You know what I'm saying? Why you got your driver sober and your shooter drunk? Nigga, what's going on? Do you want a drunk driver? I need my shooter on points. Nigga, I'm going to shot himself and her. I'm going to shot everybody in the car. I'm going to shoot You got to clip it backwards in that shit. You over there like, blah, blah, blah. So you're rather a drunk driver than a sober shooter? Hell, as long as you're on the right block, I mean, shit, I can make up for the rest. He missed it. If you turn down the correct street, I can get the rest of myself. He had to go back two times. He still had the safety on the first time. No, go back, go back, go back. All right, I got it now. You think they seen this? Back up, back up. Just go over first. I want pancakes. Ain't no need to go all the way around the block just reversed. Ain't nobody looking. Ain't nobody looking. What the fuck? You probably forgot what they were doing halfway. We're going to do that drive-by. Oh, my bad, dog. I had the safety on. Nigga, what did you do? Dog, that'll be a funny-ass skit, bro. I'm saying black because there's no way. Yeah, I'm going to agree with that. It's not racist if you agree. This is Hispanic, I think. When's the last time you seen a white boy do a drive-by? I think it's Hispanic. When's the last time you seen a Hispanic dude drive by? I don't know. Training day? That's about it. Shit, that's a hard question. I'm saying black, bro. That might be black. Yeah, he was drunk. What y'all going for? Okay, what were they drinking? Casamigos? What were they drinking? Modelo? Nope. Wrong button. Wrong button. Are you black? Nope, white. This is a white boy. People don't know how to commit drive-bys. Black people know how to commit drive-bys. True. When have you ever heard of a black drive-by? That would be the exact statistic that year. That would be the anomaly. A lot of times. You know when you see the stats, it would be like 99%. The wrong person gets shot. Black drive-bys, the wrong person gets shot. This drive-by, somebody just fucking... The white boy needed people to wear name tags. Who do you have to do a drive-by on? The highlight of the drive-by was this nigga trying to drive... drunk, but it was like, nah, I'm going to drive sober. I don't. That was the highlight of it. What part of Florida? That was the giveaway that was a white drive-by. Tallahassee. That was the highlight of the drive-by. Tallahassee. Was the girl offering the drive-by. Tallahassee drive-by. Tallahassee be lit up in the dark. Y'all both got that wrong. All right. Last one. South Carolina man arrested after he shot someone who refused to ride to the gas station with him. That's a black man. That's a nigga. I'm from South Carolina, and I know it. I'm from South Carolina, and I know it, nigga. I bet you he offered five hours for gas money, too. He said he got gas money. He said, Riley took me to the store. He ain't come to the store. He ain't brought me to the store. Yo, man, fuck your bitch-ass dick. I grew up in South Carolina, too, and I ain't going to say yes. Hey. Flames wins with fours. Again. That motherfucker won like three in a row. I know, dog. That motherfucker no race. One of these days, I'm going to win. You know what? One of these might have been him. I don't know. I was going to say that, guys. He's committing these crimes.

UNKNOWN: 1:29:24

I know I'm doing witness questioning.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:25

I might have been a criminal before. I was driving. All right, man. He didn't. He should have came. Had a drunk shooter. That's a no from me, dog. Oh, no, no. Who was that? That was just that crime. It's lit. Just that crime. I'm keeping you all motherfuckers on your toes, man. Now it's time for Orange. News team. NPR.

UNKNOWN: 1:29:50

Assume.

SPEAKER_00: 1:29:50

Oh, you got it back. You got it back. Good news, everyone. You are fake news. All right, so a lot has happened. Mainly, we're going to talk about it because it was already brought up. Elon Musk buys Twitter. Oh, yeah. Shout out to my nigga Elon. And so this is the first question. For how much money was Twitter bought for? 44. Or 43. 40, 43, 44. All right. That's an easy one. The real question is, how much value did Tesla lose on the day of that purchase? He owns... Like 283, I think. You're talking about a million? Yeah. How much money did Tesla lose on the day of purchase? I'm going to say 3%. I need a monetary value. What did it start at? Just give me how much money did he lose? I don't fucking know.$150 a share.$150 a share. I'm going to say$1.5 trillion, I think.$126 billion. That's how much money Tesla lost. It didn't bounce back, though. It didn't bounce back as much. It's still down like 17%. I was going to say Amazon. Not that much, though. It was$186? No, it was$200 something. Amazon down like$750,$800 million or some shit. Damn near a billion, too. Not of the day of the purchase. You could see the spike. It's down a lot more in the whole month since he's been talking about it. Yeah, I bet you a lot of people sold Tesla and bought Twitter. It came back up, but it only came back a few... What it is is they just think he's not going to be able to... Do all of it. It's just a lot. SpaceX, Twitter now. The Boring Company. You know, that's the one that's taking the L. He's just the owner. He's not the CEO. He still runs a lot of this shit. He's not the CEO, though. He makes too many decisions, in a sense. He's almost... kind of like Tyler Perry. Instead of hiring somebody to completely oversee everything, he still wants a little piece. You know what I mean? That 9% goes a long way with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's trying to cut nobody in with nothing. Now he owns the whole thing. Amazon lost like 35%, bro. He has to be a ditto vote. You know what I mean? If he's on a board of directors, he can't. No, he can because he owns less than 13%. Now he owns 100%. Right, but I'm just saying you can't be on the board and have have more than 13% is what they said in their bylaws. But since he owns 100% of it, what's happening to the board? It's going to private. I mean, like, day one, though. Like, what happens day one? Like, you just go home? Everybody sold their shares. Now he's a single shareholder. Right. They could be elevated to, well, demoted to chairman. He's taking the company private. It's getting taken off of the stock market. Right. But it's still public to this day, though. Like, so do they become shareholders? But eventually, if you have any share Yeah, yeah, yeah. The second the sale goes through, the share price is locked. Yeah, exactly. And then you just get a check. Yeah. And that's it. You don't have a say in it. I own Twitter shop, let's say. I don't have... Give me a$1,000 check. What the fuck do I matter?$44 billion. Can you imagine working at Twitter in 2009 and taking the stock options instead of a higher pay? Ooh, shit. But that's the thing. Hold on. God almighty. I was going to say, it didn't even really... It went up to$54 a share. Well, it went beyond He bought it at$54,000, I believe, right? It actually dropped on to$44,000 the day he bought. Yeah, shout out to the motherfucker at Google that took it. No, but hold on. Shout out to the motherfucker at Google that took the$40,000 instead of the stock value. He paid like$40,000. They are hating themselves right now. Dumbass, nigga. Shout out to Orin. You're in a different universe. No, that's you. That's like Magic Johnson, right? Magic Johnson did the same shit. The stock value is a different thing. No, you shit. You should totally just take the$40,000 up front. Yeah, he wanted that vacation time. My black ass was like, nah, I'll take them options.$40,000? I would have taken the$40 million option. Here's the thing that's crazy. This is the first day in Twitter history where they've actually made a profit. That's what's also crazy. What do you mean? How are they making a profit now? They've never made a profit in a single quarter. He's not doing anything yet. No, no, no. If everybody on the board, they're the second ones who get paid. I'm sorry. They made a profit because it sold. Exactly. It's the first day in Twitter history. where they made a profit. They've never made a profit. The shareholders have never made a profit. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Not shareholders. Shareholders have. The actual board of directors has never taken an actual profit. Because they sold out. They paid like 10, 15% more than what it was worth. Yeah, they're like 13 years in. We need some money. We need some bread. It's 13 years in, no money. So he paid for a company, overpaid for a company that's never made money before. If you look at the acquisition, then he overpaid. But if you look at the cost per user, then he underpaid. What do you mean? So I'll give an example, especially with Elon. So when- per user. Yes. If you want to actually create a user, if you want to take home a user, you need to spend advertising dollars and you need to have a high retention rate. It's above 70%. But Twitter doesn't have a high retention rate. No, no, no. So if you, okay, so if you start a social media platform from scratch and you put a billion dollars in it, you might get 300,000 followers. I mean, users, right? If those users aren't creating two additional users recruiting for you, then you actually are losing money and you have an extreme high acquisition cost per user. What Elon did was he shortcutted the whole game. So if you look at it as that, then he actually paid maximum$140 per user. And that's active users, not bots. Twitter is not an up-and-coming thing. No, not at all. Twitter has been plateaued. But the cost per user is dumb cheap. It's deeper than that. I see what you're saying. Hold on. Before you even go into your spiel is deeper than a rap because I'm telling you dog the fact that he owns Twitter you know what happens is he gets all the algorithms so he knows what everybody wants before they want it do you think Neuralink is going to benefit from this he knows as the owner of Twitter you're access you're privy to that information right that's if they don't burn it because that's a concern they might burn all this shit to you because they don't want to get caught shadow banning people want this people want that you're and it's tapping into everybody. That makes sense for something as big as Instagram or Facebook, but Twitter is only like 15 or 20% of people actually have Twitter in America. Yeah, it's something low like 300. Dude, the reason we know about Twitter is because people in high profile places have it. No, I understand what you're saying. That's why you buy it. I understand what you're saying, but Twitter is still in the top motherfucking three of the fucking years. All of the news that we talked about on this show broke on Twitter first. But hold on, the reason- Or a world star hip hop. You might not use Twitter first. Hold on, here's the thing. You're absolutely right. That Twitter is the first thing to do. But if he's now in it and it's not a freely, you know, you can just say whatever and it is what it is. You know, like he's deleting tweets now because he doesn't like it. Are people still going to use Twitter like they did? Now that it's on the... I don't think so. As long as he don't cut the porn off. I mean, if all the journalists stopped using Twitter... Well, here's the thing. Does Twitter even have anything? Here's the thing. If we have an American walkout of journalists, we still have the international market. Where does the news break internationally? So all the news in Ukraine is breaking on Twitter. He's going to make so much money off of owning Twitter that$44 billion is not going to be. Hold on, hold on. Everybody's going to get a check mark. I'll bet$1,000. You pay a dollar, you get a check mark. Let's just be real. We got to move on to the next thing of MP Warren. Hold on, let me finish saying. They're actually saying he's doing all these crazy tweets now about buying and Coca-Cola and doing... Putting the Coke back in. They're basically saying it's almost like he's trying to back out of the deal by sounding too crazy to own Twitter. Ain't nobody talking about that. I'm just saying, that's also one of the things. What if he really wanted to buy Coca-Cola and put Coke back in it? He can't afford Coca-Cola. Hey, man, fuck it. All I know is that motherfucker African. He's white African. That's not the same. He's African-American. That's why. Is that only a... You got to get through this, man. Hold on. His father owned an apartheid gem thing in South Africa. I wouldn't even consider him African. If y'all know about Elon Musk, man, he African. Go check him out. All right. So next thing. Last week, we talked about the Florida don't say gay bill. Since then, Florida, Disney decided to say like, hey, we don't like this law. We're going to try to fight it. Now, Disney has lost its menu. I cannot say this word. Municipal. Municipal. It's municipality. It's sovereignty. I didn't know this. Disney was its own, technically, its own country. Like, they had their own laws. I mean, obviously, they had U.S. laws, but they lost all of that. Now, because of this, and the question is, who's really losing in this? Is it because they want to say gay? They want to say gay, yes. Obviously, it's Disney. It's Florida. Like, I mean, but it's, you know, they got movies. Disney's like, yeah, we gotta say gay. But where are they saying gay? In school. It's a gay world after all. That's why I want to know, like, what is their stage in this conversation? Their stage in this conversation is for it to pass the law to, like, don't say gay, but we can't teach about, like, any of this in school. But Disney's like, yo, we got gay people. Yeah, we don't like this law. Yeah. We're going to try to fight it. But they're not a school. Exactly. And so Governor Ron DeSantis, this bill was signed in 1967 and now just took it away. So now Florida, I mean, not Florida, but Disney has a billion dollars worth of debt that now that Florida now has to absolve. Now Florida has to be, you know, Disney has its own police force, its own utilities, its own power company, its own everything. They might shut Disney down. They basically just bucket the whole situation. Florida has to do all of that now. So in a sense, like, yeah. Yeah, so Disney probably like, nah, yeah, you want that. Yeah, run that. The whole time. Oh, y'all want all this? Yeah. Like, shit, well, shit. We ain't gonna say gay. We ain't gonna say gay. Shit, we ain't gonna say gay. No, no, we ain't gonna say gay.

UNKNOWN: 1:40:42

Shit.

SPEAKER_00: 1:40:44

Shit. Hey, I just want to ask. Does y'all want everything? Shit. That's what I'm saying. Even a billion dollar debt? Shit. Shit. Y'all can have it all, baby. Hey, I just want to ask them, was it worth it? But here's also something that also speaks on it. For years, especially now during COVID, we've heard, especially from Florida, big government don't tell us what to do. And now this is the biggest government thing telling a private company what to do. Like literally taking over They're shit. Hey, man. It's all convenient principles, man. That's all it's about. That's it. It's exactly convenient principles. The world is full of convenient principles here on the High Class Dirtbags Podcast. And that's all I'm trying to tell everybody, man. It's just all about convenient principles, man. Everybody got principles until it's convenient, dog. Or when it's convenient, dog. But when it's not, them shit go out the fucking window, dog. They go out like this. Them shit go out the fucking window. Them shit's like, yo, fuck that, dog. Fuck them principles. I'm going to get this bag. Hold on. Four to six. fuck your free speech we're taking over because and this is why Elon bought Twitter because people are like oh free speech is being crippled and then literally Florida wasn't out here tweeting those stuff DeSantis is one of those people the governor is one of those people that say we're losing our freedom of speech yeah and he's like you know basically Donald Trump was banned from Twitter and he's saying that's like freedom of speech ban but he's literally taking over a whole fucking in a sense taking over A country. Y'all got to pass for the last hundred years. I'm revoking your G-packs. Disney was actually like a country. Let's say it was a real, real country. This is like war in a sense. You're actually taking over. Yeah, we're coming in and taking our shit. Obviously, Disney is the size. It's 40 acres. That's not a country that can fight back. So they're like, yeah, I guess whatever. You can run this motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got it. I mean, if I was Disney, I'd be like, yeah, yeah. I think he's going to have his debt too, dog. I would. wanted all that shit, man. We going back to L.A. If I was there, I'd be like, hey, Georgia, what's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? They should have been like, all right, well, we're going to leave if y'all are going to do that. But here's the thing. Like, are we cool with Disney writing law without being an elected official? Because they've written so many laws through their business dealings and their pressuring of Senate to extend the, you know, obviously the copyright laws, right? Steamboat Willie was the first digital, I'm sorry, non-physical copyright. I know, but I'm just saying, like, do we want Disney to run the show or do we want the state of Florida to run the show? But they're not running the show. What Disney did is... Well, they're running the conversation. So the reason why Disney... did this is because they bought 40 acres in like whatever and it was in two counties so to get you know like they needed a sewer pipe you know if you flush the toilet here the sewer pipe goes it's an exclusionary zone so to avoid you know like the city has to have this ordinance and you gotta get to this city and they gotta agree with it and the pipes gotta meet they're like hey can we just buy you guys out and be our own we'll abide by the surrounding laws same tax laws same everything I think there's like actually like 40 people who actually live on this like little trailers that you know That sounds like the best spot to be in the country right now. It's like a weird democracy they have. Here's the thing. They have to abide by all the laws. You can't kill, you can't smoke, whatever. So they're not writing laws. They have the same legislative power as Google or Microsoft or Coca-Cola here in Atlanta. Which is more than the feds. But in the same sense, every corporation has the same. So you can't just sing along Disney for this. No, but that's what we're talking about. I'm thinking about all of them. We're talking about Disney, so they got to get their... Yeah, but I'm saying... We can't be the old man on the porch yelling about George Soros, and we also can't in the same breath be the old man on the porch yelling about billionaires coming in and buying free speech. I'm like, all right, cool. Do we want the government to run everything? Do you want somebody... That's another one. Do you want a voluntary relationship or an involuntary relationship? Because if I have the opportunity to buy my land back from the state, hell yeah. Fuck the niggas. Like, if I can buy my house from the state and be like, one time, this is your money, shut up. Don't come for me. I'm not buying by no laws federally, except for federal laws. You can't escape that. Yeah, I'll take that shit in a heartbeat. That's what I'm saying. But then Ron DeSantis went back and reneged on that and said, hey, y'all been getting their pass for all these years. I don't agree with us now. Because here's the thing. We want payback. I don't get that. We want payback for what's out you know like I don't get their argument because it's like Disney isn't a school district it's not like there was a school district within this exclusionary zone and they want to be like alright cool we want to say everything we want to say which the bill doesn't actually address it's not like they're in the position to be saying hey we want payback for what y'all did to the cold crush he said bars yo we want it back we want that shit back in blood you know what I'm All right, man. We got to move on. But we're moving on. Well, what the fuck were you saying? They don't have a school district. In addition to this, Florida also banned 50 books due to critical race theory. He said doo-doo. Due to sensitivity. That's the sound of Dookie. Anyway, they banned 50 books. Now, why I bring this out is because they didn't ban stories. or, you know, Holocaust. They banned 50 math books due to critical race theory. Math? Math. I know the example you're talking about. It wasn't even questions like that. It wasn't questions like, you know, why does, you know, like, it was literally like third grade, fourth grade math books because it was just, one of them was an example. It was, they listed like all the famous mathematicians throughout history in this one math book and they just Quinn, you know, obviously they were all white men. And so they're like, oh, we don't want to, you know, we don't want kids thinking that, you know, they hate white people. It's like literally like none of it makes sense as to why they did it. But, you ain't got to teach kids that, dog. Especially black kids. Just tell them to go to the store and get some sweet tea. All right, so here's the question. If you have four gallons of sweet tea and so-and-so asks you two packs of Newports. Get an Arizona and a motherfucking hoodie and a coat of snow, dog. I guarantee you. what if the question was you have four packs of Newports Antoine asked you that's what I thought it would be if Antoine got four packs of Newports and give 13 Lucys out how many cigarettes you got a TCR you got a TCR if the flick of the wrist was at the hyperbole you got a TCR if he flicks his wrist at a 45 degree angle at 35 flicks per second how long will it take him to whip up this patent. The hypothesis of the directionality. So they ban these books under the Stop the Longs to Our Kids and Employees Act. Shout out to them. What does that even mean? Stop the long. Because you can also do this in this law. So it's not just for schools to stop the wrong to our words. It's basically like they don't teach sensitivity training and employees anymore Like, you can't teach that shit in Florida business anymore. For math? No, like, this is... Hold on, keep up. Get the fuck out of there! You know the number three make me feel sensitive, you know what I mean? In a sense, yes. But this bill was not just for school kids, it was also for workers. So ideally, like, you can't go into a workplace and be given sensitivity training, which is now illegal in Florida. You can't talk about race relations and any of that stuff. of our workers and kids. Say straight. Stop woke act. That's the same shit. That's the dumbest shit in the fucking world. Everybody does this shit. It's just like, oh, this is the pro-childcare act and it's just a whole bunch of debauchery shit. That don't surprise me because they got an all lives matter. Of course they're going to have a stop woke. They got all lives matter. Enough about Florida. This whole episode's been Florida. Women reached a new milestone this week. Can anybody guess what it is? They're nagging still to this motherfucking date. Is it still legal in all 51 states to nag? We're in 50 states, bro. He said Puerto Rico. Shout out to Puerto Rico. There are more women in the workforce that have graduated college than men. Oh, that was a long time ago. No, no, no. It was more women in college than men. That's a long time ago. Now they're It's now officially there's more women college graduates working than men. That's not a surprising statistic because there's more women in the world than there are men. Yeah, exactly. I was about to say the same thing. If we're living in a free and just world, that should always be the case because there's bricklayers, there's welders, where there's like 99% dudes, you know what I mean? So you don't go to college for that. And the reason I say that, that's not surprising because now, especially in America, it is more equality, especially when it comes to women going to college and shit like that. that versus a lot of other countries in the Middle East specifically. And there's more women in the U.S. than there are men. Not much. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. Google it. It's a lot. So the fact that more women have graduated from college does not surprise me. It's not surprising. Not surprising. What else we got? What else we got? Oh, What else? This is a tragic milestone. Let's go. Children's number one cause of death in the U.S., and we talked about this last week with Georgia Law, is gun deaths. Now, in the past year, children deaths have gone up 29%. That's got to be like the number one cause of death in America. But they group children like, what, 17 and under? No, it's basically, yeah, 17 and under. 17 and under, yeah. And it's probably from 14 to 17. No, it's, they group them all, it's all. I mean, The number one cause of death for children outside of heart disease, outside of... No, no, no. Really? All of it. All of it. All of it. In the U.S. Why is the number one cause of death what I'm saying? Because the kids from 14 to 17. Nope. Like, no. He's saying all the numbers are going to be concentrated there. Yeah, that's where you get your most of your numbers. No, but I mean... No, I can't imagine because there's probably kids that's getting shot and stuff like that. Getting hold of guns and stuff like that. straight bullets and shit. Everybody's sitting at home the last two years. That happens all the time. What you're saying is also still in the same comparison of kids who die from car accidents or cancer. If you know what's going on outside right now, kids from 14 to 17 are murking each other. It's insane. Every news article you see in Atlanta is somebody young. Under the age of 14, they get hit. That's the perception. I The last four shootings at Lenox Mall, everybody was under 18. The last four shootings at Lenox was under 18. But this is not the reason it went up number one. The reason it went up number one is because parents are leaving guns unattended. What do you mean? This is the number. This is not an opinion. This is what happened. Opinions generate numbers, though. Shootings are up, yes. There are more shootings now than we were. But more kids are getting shot by accident as well. It's not like one and only one. Let's assume that's right 100%. There have been supply chain shortages. You can't get safes right now. I agree with that. Let's go to the stats. No more opinion. The stats say that more kids 14 and under are dying because they're getting a hold of guns. Exactly. There's a few reasons for that that I can imagine. Look at what you're saying. More kids are dying because Under 14, that's more kids. But if you look at the number... Hold on, hold on. Because trust me, there are kids between 14 and up getting killed by guns. But the amount of kids that are getting killed 14 and under are so crazy because of loose guns and stuff like that. No, that's just saying more kids are. More kids under 14 are. And I agree with that because more kids... I don't think what Oren is saying is hard to believe. I think there's a lot of underlying reasons why that is the case. What you're saying is you're saying like beef-related shootings. No, no. 14 to 17 and up. No, what I'm saying is 14 and under, it just went up from what it was. That's what I'm saying. The kids shooting themselves with finding their mother and father's guns, it just went up. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. But if you look at the number of kids being killed, it went up between those ages with violence. So, you know what I'm saying? No, I get what you're saying. But there's more kids dying now because of... There's specifically more kids Hold on, I have died now because of finding guns under piles of clothes and shit. In the late 80s, in the 80s and 90s, crime was up. There were more shootings between 14 to 20-year-olds, you know what I mean, than there is now. We just hear about it more now because there's internet and everything. Yeah, we're still in the least violent age in human history. In the 80s and 90s, death among guns for children was nowhere near number one. Because they weren't finding them. But in the same, it wasn't just they weren't finding them. People didn't, like people always had had guns, but people had like one gun. You got to also remember in the 80s, gun safety was a part of the public school curriculum, as well as archery and marksmanship. In a lot of states, I can't speak for you, but I'm saying in Virginia. Kids being killed, and they say kids being killed by finding guns, and it will be probably like last year here, this year it's probably up to here. Of course it's got to be up. There's no reason why what Oren's saying can't be possible. It's very easy to believe, but But we're talking about something that is easily preventable. It used to be cancer. This is what they're saying. They're saying more kids are dying now because of guns being left unattended than ever before. And that's the basis of the story. It's tragic. Because guns are being left unattended openly. Some parents are buying their kids guns and leaving them unlocked for the kids to grab. This is what I'm saying though. Even that number is still do not equate to the kids who are actually out here with the motherfucking sticks who are killing each other. It's higher. That's all I'm saying. It's higher. That's what I'm telling you. It's higher. That's how many motherfuckers are leaving guns out. It's definitely not higher. It is. We only see shootings like this in Atlanta. We're in Atlanta. New York, Chicago, big cities have the shooting problems amongst kids with themselves. That's just for the city. Whereas the whole nation, little towns in Arkansas, you hear a story. You don't hear a story of kids getting shot every day in tragic like Lenox Mall shooting. It happens a lot here in Atlanta. But every day, you can Google it right now, you will find a kid getting shot by his younger brother by this. But what I'm saying is for every one of them in whatever state town, even when I look at the news, for everyone that say a child found the gun and killed herself. That same day on the news, six or seven kids. Because that's the media. What's a better story? No, this shit is in the hood. But hold on. That's what I'm saying. I just had two folks. What he's trying to say is they don't know, won't show what goes on in the ghetto. Chili's nephew. That shit was on the news and everything. My little stripper bro, her little nephew just got killed. Hold on. We're not saying that you're wrong. I saw it on Instagram a week ago. That number for every one kid that's getting shot in gang violence. It's not a matter of who you think. This is the numbers. More kids are getting shot by accident than gang shootings. There's a lot of reasons for that. I'd love to break that down. You just don't want to believe it. It's a hard milestone to believe. I mean, I I would say it's more than what it previously was. Y'all just want to put the emphasis in different places. You're both saying the same thing. He's saying that more kids are getting shot with gang-related but just like beefing and stuff like that. It's not that. I'm telling you. It happens. You see more of it in the news because it's a better story. More kids are getting shot on accident is what made this surpass. Than last year or the year before or the year before. Hold on. Here's another thing. Gun violence used to only be for inner city things inner city people you know like poor amongst poor gun violence is now everywhere but that's why that number is so egregious now I can break that down for you it's so not simple but more people live outside you know like there's more people that there's more guns in middle America than there is in the cities but that's what I'm saying that's why that number seems so egregious but a lot of city folk are moving to the suburbs and they've first of all you cannot get a gun safe right now for the okay the fastest the fastest demographic of gun ownership in America is black single females. Are you really blaming this on the gun safe? No. It's as easy as tipping the bullets in one drawer and the gun in another drawer. No, no, no. If you got anybody above the age of five... It sounds good. I got kids, though. Hold on, hold on. There's a lot of reasons for that. Guys, guys, guys. Again, you're saying... But the simple fact is these are numbers. These are statistics. It's not opinions. No one's disagreeing. It's literally kids are finding loaded guns with no safety locks, not any things, not separated clips or whatever. Literally, a gun just sitting in a drawer. Yeah, yeah. And that's how kids are dying. They're not finding a clip. They're not finding a gun, putting it together, and shooting each other. This is 29% from last year, from 2019 to 2020. In one year. But I guarantee you... What happened in that year? The parents left the household. But I guarantee you, if you go see how many kids get shot in motherfucking street violence from the same 2019 to 2020, it's going to be more than 29%. But it isn't, though. It isn't. How do you know? Did you research that far? Because this is the statistic. I mean, Those two are not really related, but both can exist in the same... Well, he's saying more people are dying within specifically the segment of gang violence. More people are dying there, and that percentage of increase is higher than 29. That's all he's saying. They didn't take that into consideration. When you go to the hospital, they tell you what you got shot for. You say, oh, my brother... You think that's real all the time? What'd you get shot for? Yeah, yeah, so-and-so did it. But exactly, so if you don't say that, they're going to put that as mysterious things. But if the parent comes in, oh, Billy shot Kate, they're going to put it as an accident. And does that get amended when the court case is actually figured out? No, this is what I'm saying, though. You guys are literally arguing numbers because you don't believe the numbers. If that 29% raises that whole thing to 73%, regular black on black bosses are still going to be like, alright, 70, not 80%. He's trying to give gas to your argument. I don't think you realize it. No, he's giving the opposite. He's saying that more of this crimes are committed on purpose. We're saying it's accidental between the ages of 14 and 17. That's what he said. I'm just saying that as being egregious because, you know what I'm saying, now it grows to 29%. The thing says from 1 to 19-year-olds, so it's taking all of it into the category. It's saying, of all the shootings... That's showing that that rose to 29% of that demographic. It did. So it's taking all of that. But did they break down the rest of them? No one's going to break that down because you can't put that many characters in a headline. Jesus Christ, are you guys really not saying that there's paid professionals that don't sit around and break down these crimes and give you statistics everywhere. Are you guys really now saying that? No, no, no. I'm just saying you only saw that one. Not even close. What I'm saying is that breakdown is not in the headline because it's too many characters. That's simply all I'm saying. So let me just say this piece. Your guys' opinions is an opinion. I'm giving you actual fact and numbers. Of a one... No, no, no. I'm not arguing against you. Give me the numbers for the rest. I wrote down just this much. I'm not arguing against you. I don't think you realize that. I didn't give you the whole article. Okay, all right. I'm not arguing against the fact. I get what you're saying. Trent just showed a link. More people die by accident. You guys are like, no, it's anybody. No, because he only asked for this. No, Flame is saying that. I'm not saying that whatsoever. I'm giving clarity and insight to the dynamics of what happened within those two years. Anyway, so I'd like to talk about this. Utah University is offering porn class to students. So I figured I'm going to get me a PhD. I think that statistic we talked about earlier is about to flip. This is about to be old, but a lot more dudes in college. They're trying to take that election fresh for a year. They're trying to get us back. I'm about to get a PhD, though. It makes sense. I'm about to get a PhD, though. A pretty huge dick. I'm about to get a master's. It makes sense. I'm about to get a master's. You think it's all good porn, though? I mean, you're obviously going to be watching all types of porn. Yo, they said in the story. You can watch gay porn. You can watch midget. All types. I mean, it's not going to just be sexual porn. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Don't be not midget porn. Obviously, this is a Midget porn is lit, all right? Don't you be just talking about midget porn. Yeah, midget porn is fun, dog. Just like it ain't served any good in society. Midgets be thick as fuck, yo. You better be seeing it. I've honestly never seen it. Midgets be thick, dog. Midgets be thick as fuck, dog. Flame like, that's enough of me, dog.

UNKNOWN: 2:04:35

Chill, bro. What?

SPEAKER_00: 2:04:35

Them little motherfuckers be looking like little drumsticks. It's a hard not life. Little drumsticks. Little drumettes. Chill, bro. The views of this podcast are not reflected by anybody on the podcast. The views of this podcast are not represented by Levante Brewing Company. He's just a guest. Looks like the wings you be getting at American Deli. Oh, boy. That shit is hilarious, nigga. Little drumsticks. Got a little Cornish hand going on. You know what I'm saying? That shit, man. I'm going to get me a PhD. Fuck it, man. Well, I started getting my PhD when I was What are you going to do with a PhD in porn, though? I was going to say a fucking liberal arts degree. Good luck with that. I've been watching porn since kids. I'm a wood doctor. Hey, what's your dissertation going to be? I want an honorary degree. Yeah, I should get an honorary degree. For Oren's contribution to the arts. Yeah, facts. You look like you'd be in one of them, Justin. They use long-ass locks. You know what they said? They said you have to study over 10,000 hours to be great. Okay, I did double that. That's it. That's all? I did 20,000 hours by my 13th year. Bro, he about to open up a college. I have a child prodigy. You don't believe me? Shake my hand. I'll be the professor. You feel that grip? What do you think that is? Child prodigy over here. I'm going to be the professor, bro. Female student come up to me like, yo, I need this. You think the professor was like, I used to do porn and I got my doctorate and I'm teaching. What if the student comes up to you? I'm like, well, can you show me this position? Show me how to do it. I'm a doctor. I expect everybody's student project in my class. We got to make a movie. We got to make a movie. Do they have office hours? I got the baddest business class. Professor, we were wondering if we can use the classroom for our staff. No, we can't do that. Because if I let you, then I got to let everybody do this. God damn it. As long as you clean up after you go. God damn Jim Thorpe, pornography professor, who was It says here, we got to cancel the porn program. We go through a million dollars worth of Kleenex every year. You know what? I would be kind of- Kleenex and Shea Butter is like, yo. If you got to show up in person, they don't have an online degree, I'm going to be upset. They better have an online degree. Dude class is just a circle jerk. I would have to be in class. The last motherfucker to break eye contact loses, dog. You get an F. That's enough for me, dog. I can't do it online. You can't do it online? I got to be in person. In person, dog. I was just sitting here with me.

UNKNOWN: 2:07:24

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 2:07:24

I didn't see. I didn't make eye contact with y'all motherfuckers, dog. I think I need to be live partners with Suzy.

UNKNOWN: 2:07:28

Yep.

SPEAKER_00: 2:07:29

Yeah. Exactly, yep. Suzy. We turn the TV on for the gay dudes. Why you say? Suzy. Suzy Blay. Yes. What's up, please be. Dropping out. You got to watch all porn. All porn. They said it's impact on society, so From the 50s to now. Hold on. Obviously, we're joking, but I think in a sense of what is taught, maybe what is actually taught in this class is what you're saying. It's the theology of porn. It's changed the entire world. Porn has changed the world. We don't know it. The reason we actually are in business, we have a fucking job where we're men. Porn was literally... Because of porn, we have VHS Yep. Instead of Betamax. Instead of Betamax. Because of porn, we have streaming. Yep. Because of porn, internet got... We got pop-ups. That's deep. We got pop-ups because of porn. I'm dead serious. No, that's deep. If you think about it, yes. Porn got outlawed in theaters in the 70s. So they had all these movies. What are we going to do with them? Somebody invented Betamax and VHS. Betamax is better. But VHS was cheaper to make, cheaper to produce. So the porn industry was like, we don't know what we're doing. We just go with it. So then many years later, after TMC started running movies at home, and they're like, hey, we should probably start putting some of these movies to home. Let me take you another level. They're like, do we go with Betamax, which is better quality, or do we go with VHS? You want to buy four movies or one? VHS, since people already had VCRs, and you would have to have two. In a sense, they were like, you know what? It's just more financially lucrative for us to just jump on VHS. Yeah. So... Do you think virtual reality was created from porn? I think it is. It probably was like, if you think about it, it was like, damn, somebody who ain't had no girl was like, I got to create me a bitch. I think virtual reality has been around, what, since like the 90s. Yeah, because they wanted to do it then. The reason why virtual reality isn't like a household. But hold on, you're right, you're right, hold on. is not what it is because porn hasn't figured it out yet. They have it. They got an idea of it, but it isn't like... It's not the best. I need a dynamic dick. I need the video to see what I'm working with. I need a dynamic dick. Yeah. But no, you're going to drink now. You get a little... I need a dynamic dick.

UNKNOWN: 2:10:16

Damn, bro.

SPEAKER_00: 2:10:16

We're doing some editing over here. No, you got the glasses on and shit. You look down, it's a white dick. What am I supposed to do with that? That ain't real. I just seen a clip of this Chinese guy. I feel the same way with glasses. He was having virtual sex with somebody and everybody was looking, but he was going to town. He was jacking that thing up. That's how it's going to be, man. Demolition, man. She-shells. We fucking air. Seriously, there was There was Netflix. There was places. Hold on, hold on. Pornhub walked so Netflix could run. I mean, you got a point. It's not just the industry. So porn probably, I bet you there are better prosthetic arms and legs and hands because of fleshlight shit. I like my pussy uncut. You know what I'm saying? Think about that. Here's the thing, but mass production always makes the difference. That shit too watered down. And more accessible. But hold on. Mass production may be cheap, but I don't think porn has like a fucking room full of chemists trying to figure out. Oh, bro. You can order specific modes of women. Hold on, hold on. I don't think, again, porn didn't invent the VCR. They were just. No. Took it in. They put gasoline on it. But the person who invented the VCR loved porn. Exactly. See what I mean? Yes, there's the connection. So, you know, if I want to do virtual reality, I'm not doing it for porn, but I love porn. And I want my virtual reality. Horn influences everything. Sex influences everything. If you ever walk in the room and see me humping Air Dog, take me out to the pasture, bro. Something's wrong, dog, because I like my pussy in the raw. I like my pussy raw, dog. What if it was 100%? What if there's a Pepsi taste test? What if there's a Pepsi taste test? Not literally taste, but what if you can kill it? A few days. A few days. What if there was a fleshlight? It was a Pepsi challenge. Pepsi challenge, yeah. What if you literally could not distinguish between the two? Between the fleshlight and the old girl? Dude, I'm turning in my car. But like, you know, because here's the thing. We are hacking biology at a certain extent. Because we are hacking biology at a certain extent. You know, like 200 years ago, you couldn't just knock down 10 chicks in a day. But now, you can see exactly... you want that's available in a different country like if you live in your own I'm about to say that was definitely that was one of the most popular times when pussy was in the raw pussy was in the 1920s pussy was in the raw that shit was all time low at that point you go to a saloon with a nickel you fucking everybody I'll probably say about the 1800s was probably the best time to have some pussy in the raw I don't They didn't have condoms back in those days either. Pussy in the raw, dog. Hey, that syphilis was real, though. Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah, niggas was out in the syphilis. But, I mean, it's not like you could, you didn't have access to a thousand women. You couldn't just be like, all right, I want a chick who's five foot six, X, Y, Z, bop, bop, bop. Yeah, but you have more choice now. It just doesn't make it easier. I ain't fucking. True, but you're not busting a nut. You're married. You don't know what it's like. So what you're going to do is be like, yo, I ain't got no gal, so fuck it. Let me go ahead and go to the gallery. Go ahead and give me some damn little robotic yop, yop, you know, You in the room like, uh, uh, uh. Thrust of the wall. That joint be like one of them bulls, the pneumatic bulls or whatever. That's a no for me, dog. But hey, man. All right. Well, this has been the High Class Dirt Bits. No, we didn't do no. Dumb laws, dumb laws. Dumb laws. You got to do dumb laws. Flame Speed got to go, but we got to do dumb laws real quick, man. If you got to go, go ahead and go. Leave. Bye. Bye. I'm the face of the podcast. All right. I got to stay here. That's a no for me, though. All right, man. Last week on Dumb Laws of America, we covered Alabama. This week, it's Alaska. So, with that being said, the first dumb law in Alaska is it is illegal to dress up as a priest on Halloween. Is that really? Yeah. That's fucking weird. That should be illegal everywhere, nigga. Why would you want to dress up as a priest? I did that once. I'm Jewish. That's exactly why it should be. It was everybody. I'm going to dress up as a rabbi, but that's racist, right? See what I'm saying? It is now. Now I wouldn't dress as a priest, but back in the day, that's going to come to haunt me. What are the priestly privileges that would be abused on Halloween? Because somebody did it and it turned out jacked up. That's what I'm wondering. Probably was like, I need a priest. I need an exorcist. And he's like, yeah. Yeah. I need to get married. I want to get married. I want to get married. Your marriage, well, according to this marriage, I know y'all trying to get divorced after 40 years. Y'all have never been married. You got married on Halloween by a person dressed as a priest, not a national priest. He was only dressed as a priest. Who had the lawsuit and what were the stakes? I want to know this. I got to know this now. All right. The next one was you can't wake a sleeping bear to take a selfie because the hibernation. You don't want to fuck up a bear. Hold on. Who the fuck is... I ain't even going to ask. And the thing is, they survived enough for us to know the story. Thank you. They probably didn't survive. That was definitely a white boy. That was definitely a white boy. Like, yo, I know you sleep right now, but my nigga, this bitch going to be way more fire if you wake up right now. Like, yo, if you wake up right now, this is fire. Then he was like... Like, I don't like to be woken up after, like, three hours. You imagine sleeping for three months. Yo, wake up real quick. And somebody waking you up on some bullshit. I'ma eat you. Like, it's one thing. I'ma eat you, bro. It's one thing if you take a picture while this nigga's asleep. He's like, you're dead now. I'ma take the picture first. I'ma smile and everything. Smile. You're taking a picture while this nigga's asleep. Like, yo. Nigga, find his phone. You like, nah, man. I gotta have him awake. Yeah, I gotta wake this nigga up. Yo, wake up. Yo, wake up. It's done. Wake up. I'm going to eat y'all. You don't have to take an L for that one. Wake up. All right. The next one is, no, you are not allowed to give Moose's alcoholic beverages in the city of Fairbanks. A sober Moose is dangerous enough. I was just going to say, a sober Moose is dangerous enough. There was a story of a tavern keeper who kept on giving his pet Moose alcohol and he got drunk And it kept on going through rampages in the city. I know what happened. The moose got drunk, tried to drive. Yeah, the drunk driver just swayed the whole fucking town. And they had to switch. Hey, moose, you do the drive by now. How do you give a moose alcohol? I thought we started at muffins. You just put it in a bowl. Yeah, they gave Rocky alcohol, though. Rocky and Bullwinkle. That's just fucking Rocky. What was he drinking? It wasn't Buffalo Tracy. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle. than themselves in Alaska. They have, because they have experienced pretty severe snowstorms and they're in these situations it's hard to distinguish between the snowmen and real children. Can you imagine that's your job? Like, go figure out which of the snowmen which of the kids walk out with a stick. You gotta go kick all the motherfuckers. Ah! Look, good thing they don't got black snow. That one time as a real kid. Ah! Ah! I'm sorry, kid. Let's say You saved that kid's life kicking him in the chest. They don't got black snow. They just shot a snowman in town. There's a video of a snowman where there's like a pole. It was built around and this dude was a jackass and kept knocking over the snowman every time. He went to knock it over and he crashed right into the pole. That's probably the curve on his job. And then after like six years of only hitting snowman he hits that one kid and kills him. I don't know. The cop was like, fuck these snowmen. All right, and then lastly, it's illegal to whisper in somebody's ear while they're moose hunting. Not lastly, I got one. You do? Wait, how are you supposed to, like, if you're hunting, like, hey, Bob! Yo, that moose right there. You have to whisper in somebody's ear. That moose is right there. I don't think that's it. I think it was like some lawmaker was fighting, was thinking, so he was like, whatever you say. Oh, I know what it was. I know exactly what it was. I knew what it was. I knew what it was. I think it's a homophobic homo. Yeah. Nah, homie was trying to get a trophy moose and he missed. And all the boys was like, yeah, you missed, you missed. He's like, nah, he was distracting me. You whisked it in my ear. You whisked it in my ear. Yeah, because that's the shit I do. Because if I knew you got a shot, I'd just come right up on you like, moose knuckle. You'd be like, oh shit, I missed. Nah, you can't go home because you was the one who Let the moose get away. That's about the most caring thing I've ever heard in my life. Moose knuckle. I just missed my shot. Nigga, now it's your turn. It's a moose knuckle. Is that a moose knuckle last time? They call me dad and moose knuckle. It is illegal in Alaska to drop a moose from an airplane. Do they just only have mooses? No dogs? There's a lot of moose in Alaska. There's a lot of moose laws. The moose take care of the dogs. They keep them in check. Hold on. Do you think is more camel toes in the Middle East or more moose knuckles in Alaska? Jesus Christ. Lord have mercy. Camel toes in the Middle East. Camel toes in the Middle East.

UNKNOWN: 2:20:57

I think.

SPEAKER_00: 2:20:58

Yeah, I was going to say, the Middle East is huge. You got to think Alaska, but then you got Canada. Hold on. I was going to say, a Canadian meese? Yeah. What about meese? Mooses? Moose. Moose. Moose. Mooses. Mooses. It's the meese. Are we counting a school of meese? No. It's a murder of mooses. So how would you say maniac mooses? Maniac mooses. Maniac mooses. Maniac mooses. A group of mooses. You said maniac moose. Maniac mooses. Moose maniac, yeah. Nah, but I think there's more camel toe in the Middle East. I think there's more camel toe in the Middle East. We talking about only, like, just animal camel toe? We talking about... Because, I mean, this is probably some mad moose knuckle. You live up that burka? That shit... I'm going to go Middle East then. I've been going that way.

UNKNOWN: 2:21:52

I'm going Campbell Toll.

SPEAKER_00: 2:21:52

There's more Moose Knuckle in the Middle East. They got both. You live up that joint. They got both. They got Campbell Toll and Moose Knuckle in the Middle East. I don't know. They might have some Eskimo Moose Knuckle too. I think we found our title. Moose Knuckle in the Middle East. Moose Knuckle in the Middle East. I didn't say this. So a town in Alaska used to have a poo throwing contest. They would drop poo from, moose poo, moose shit, from a helicopter onto a bullseye. It was a festival for 37 years and then PETA thought that they were actually dropping moose from the helicopter and petitioned the law. They got a moose tied up in a helicopter. That's what they were following, like Scarface or something like that. Ah, say hello to my little friend. So they petitioned the law without ever checking what it was. Get to the chopper. Get to the chopper. How do you get a moose in a chopper? You don't. That would be funny. How does one lift a moose into a helicopter? Oh, y'all want to beef with me? All right, I got something for y'all. Shit, wait till I... I got a moose for your ass. Automatic moose turds, man. Also, living in a trailer while it's being hauled is a crime. Yeah, that seems stupid. That means somebody did that. Yeah, niggas like, yo, we going five miles up the road. I think you should let them do it. If they dumb enough to do it. I would probably do it. I like Darwin. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. If they dumb enough to do it, you need to let them. Are you going to pack up all the glass right now? No, I'm just going to stand here. Hey, sometimes the trash takes itself out. That's all I'm going to say. As always, this has been the High Class Dirtbags podcast, man. We always talk about all kinds of shit, man. We brought it all full fucking circle, man. Once again, man. You know what I'm saying? I don't know how we did, but if you listen to this episode, you'll figure out how we brought it full circle. Moose knuckles. Moose knuckles. in the Middle East, baby. Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying? Would you take a moose necklace in the Middle East or a camel toe in Canadian? In Canadian? Canadian camel toe. Yeah, Canadian camel toe. Yeah, I'm taking a Canadian camel toe. Yeah, I'm definitely taking the Canadian camel toe. My milk of magnesium. I just said that shit yesterday, bro. I swear to God. I just said that shit yesterday, bro. My milk of magnesium. Can you tap that white girl for me, please? I was just finishing That shit's one of the best movies I've ever seen. I swear, but that's so funny. That is the greatest curve. My sweet Nubian vanilla bean Nubian queen. When I first seen that movie, I was like, oh, this is stupid. This shit over. That's the greatest curve in cinematic history. Who we had on the show today, man? What's that? Who we had on the show today? That was you. Oh, Me. This is the first time. It's you. Special guest. Who are you? Who am I? My name is Austin804 underscore. Just the regular underscore.

UNKNOWN: 2:24:57

Holy Jesus. What?

SPEAKER_00: 2:24:57

Give him the rundown, man. Give him the rundown. I don't have as many eyes as Olanski. I just love knowing where to get the beers. You know what I mean? You got twice as many underscores as Olanski. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got as many underscores as Olanski got eyes.

UNKNOWN: 2:25:11

You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00: 2:25:12

That's hard. That's hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn. Austin804 underscore. Austin J. Lewis.com. You can find me anywhere where there's money to be made and representation to be had. How about that? Hey, man, I like that, man. That's a good outro, man. I got to work on mine. As always, it's Olenski, three I's on motherfucking Instagram, two I's in motherfucking person, one I on motherfucking paper, a.k.a. Dijon Pijon, B.K.A. L.L. Couchet, government name Ben Truitt, and my 1970s alter ego is Armani Tsunami, baby. Armani Tsunami. Man, Flamespeed36, as always. Flamespeed36 on Instagram. Y'all got to link it up. You funky doghead, bitch, you. It's the RPA. A.K.A. Mr. That's a no for me. That's a no for me, dog. All right, you know that. And DrewLucky, Oren. It's DrewLucky on Instagram, Oren Malik on Twitter. A.K.A. Mr. Thank you for sharing with your friends. If you guys like the show, share. Yeah, share, man. I don't feel like our fans are sharing enough. If you love the show, share it. What you're doing is you're depriving your other friends of this great experience that we give you every other week. And real friends don't let friends drive by drunk. Exactly. You let them drive, and you do the bye. But back to that, that is one down-ass fucking girl. Yeah, you got to marry her. You got to marry that one. Baby, baby, I don't want you to get in trouble. I got this. You got to pay for her dinner. You got to pay for her dinner, right? For life. What'd I say? No. Okay, you dirtbags. Keep the change. Still go get the album. Thanks for nothing. Gotcha, bitch. Pop, pop, pop. Over your face. Gunshot. Bullet. Bullet. Rewind. Look and rewind the shot. Boom, boom, boom. Boom. Dynaline, dynaline, dynaline, dynaline. Dylon and motherfucking Dylon.